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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals. During festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extant do you agree or disagree with this option?

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals. During festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extant with this option? Yqon
Some people argue that we no longer remember the original meaning of festivals, and that most of us treat them as an opportunity to have fun. While I moderately agree that enjoyment seems to be a priority during festival times, I do not completely agree that people have forgotten what these festivals mean. In this essay, certain points will be provided in support of this view. Firstly, religious and traditional festivals have certainly become times for celebration. For example, in the UK, Christmas is a good example of a festival period when people are most concerned with shopping, giving and receiving presents, decorating their homes and enjoying traditional meals with their families. Usually, the celebration begins much before the main day and continues for around 2 weeks after that. The examples clearly show that enjoyment in the festivals is people’s primary goal. However, on the other hand, the idea that the underlying meaning of such festivals has been forgotten is likely unrealistic. For example, in the UK primary schools, children are taught in detail about the religious reasons for celebrating Christmas, Easter and various festivals in other religions. And also, children sing Christmas song which has a religious content, and they may even perform nativity plays telling about the story of Jesus’ birth. Thus, this makes it clear that people generally learn the meaning of festivals at an early age. In summary, while quite a few people more focus on the entertainment of festival days, most of them are still aware of the reason for these celebrations. It is predicted that people will not forget the meaning of the festivals in the foreseeable future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that we no longer remember the original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
, and that most of us treat them as an opportunity to have fun. While I
moderately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that enjoyment seems to be a priority during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
times, I do not completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten what these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
mean. In this essay, certain points will
be provided
in support of this view.

Firstly
, religious and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
have
certainly
become times for celebration. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, in the UK, Christmas is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
period when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are most concerned with shopping, giving and receiving presents, decorating their homes and enjoying traditional meals with their families.
Usually
, the celebration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the main day and continues for around 2 weeks after that. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that enjoyment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
primary goal.

However
,
on the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the underlying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
has
been forgotten
is likely unrealistic. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, in the UK primary schools, children
are taught
in detail about the religious reasons for celebrating Christmas, Easter and various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
in other religions. And
also
, children sing Christmas song which has a religious content, and they may even perform nativity
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "goes telling".
plays telling
about the story of Jesus’ birth.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
at an early age.

In summary, while quite a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more focus on the entertainment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
days, most of them are
still
aware of the reason for these celebrations. It
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not forget the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
in the foreseeable future.
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IELTS essay Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals. During festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extant with this option?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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