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More women have started joining army and navy . Do you think females are suitable for such jobs?

More women have started joining army and navy. Do you think females are suitable for such jobs? 11XaM
Women are the great building blocks towards raising the economic as well as capital development. They are excelling in almost every sector. Some folks consider females as weak to perform hard tasks. Debate is going on whether women should be suitable for administrative defence in Navy services. In my perspective, women are capable of performing in all the fields. I will elaborate my views in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, women have equal legal provisional rights as per the Indian constitutional acts as they have remarkable analytical skills and are equally proficient to men. Females are working in banks, corporations, National services etcetera marching shoulder to shoulder with males. I would like to cite an example of a report laid down by Oxford University that regions where women received equal opportunities as men are progressing economically at a greater pace than those where women are facing discrimination. Further reinforcing my views, women who are joining army, Navy or other professions acts as a role model for the other girls by setting the example. Such women motivates and encourage other women to join the path of success. For illustrating my perception, consider Gunjan saxena, a female navy officer who sacrificed her life while serving the nation. Summarising the whole aforementioned views, equal job opportunities for women in military services gives them feeling of equality as well as make them responsible and patriotic citizen.
Women
are the great building blocks towards raising the economic
as well
as capital development. They are excelling in almost every sector.
Some
folks consider females as weak to perform
hard
tasks. Debate is going on whether
women
should be suitable for administrative
defence
in Navy services. In my perspective,
women
are capable of performing in all the fields. I will elaborate my views in forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence with,
women
have equal legal provisional rights as per the Indian constitutional acts as they have remarkable analytical
skills
and are
equally
proficient to
men
. Females are working in banks, corporations, National services etcetera marching shoulder to shoulder with males. I would like to cite an example of a report laid down by Oxford University that regions where
women
received equal opportunities as
men
are progressing
economically
at a greater pace than those where
women
are facing discrimination.

Further
reinforcing my views,
women
who are joining army, Navy or other professions acts as a role model for the other girls by setting the example. Such
women
motivates
and encourage other
women
to
join
the path of success. For illustrating my perception, consider
Gunjan
saxena
, a female navy officer who sacrificed her life while serving the nation.

Summarising
the whole aforementioned views, equal job opportunities for
women
in military services gives them feeling of equality
as well
as
make
them responsible and patriotic citizen.
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IELTS essay More women have started joining army and navy. Do you think females are suitable for such jobs?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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