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In today`s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say children in these families benefit from additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents` absence

In today`s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say children in these families benefit from additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents` absence 9dPj
In dynamic world, it is not unusual to see the working of both parents because of supporting their family with products and services. There are those argue that both parents being breadwinner might have negative impacts, others, however, feel that parents can meet their own and children`s demands. Some individuals opine that there are several negative aspects of working both parents. At first, children could depreciate upbringing. While working or being busy with their careers, parents cannot find ample time to edify their kids. This endangers children to attend delinquent activities. Aside from that, children feel abandoned in crisis time which they need their parents to support the children by encouraging and guiding, but children could not receive any assists and they might loose self- confidence or self-esteem which has far-reaching impacts on children`s future life. However, others consider that both parent working is required in world which living cost witnesses astounding rate. Hence both parents earn money to provide family with goods and services. Saying with another word, they labor so as to hit their desired levels. Moreover, by earning additional money, family are able to purchase more toys or visit foreign countries on vacation. Take developing countries as a example, most family cannot go abroad because of shortage of money. In conclusion, I think that mothers have not to work unless they are needy to extra income. Whereas extra money would better off families` life style and the presence of a mother might be beneficial for children future life.
In dynamic world, it is not unusual to
see
the
working
of both
parents
because
of supporting their
family
with products and services. There are those argue that both
parents
being breadwinner might have
negative
impacts, others,
however
, feel that
parents
can
meet
their
own
and
children`s
demands.

Some
individuals opine that there are several
negative
aspects of
working
both
parents
. At
first
,
children
could depreciate upbringing. While
working
or being busy with their careers,
parents
cannot find ample time to edify their kids. This endangers
children
to attend delinquent activities. Aside from that,
children
feel abandoned in crisis time which they need their
parents
to support the
children
by encouraging and guiding,
but
children
could not receive any
assists and
they might
loose
self- confidence or self-esteem which has far-reaching impacts on
children`s
future life.

However
, others consider that both
parent
working
is required
in world which living cost witnesses astounding rate.
Hence
both
parents
earn money to provide
family
with
goods
and services. Saying with another word, they labor
so as to
hit their desired levels.
Moreover
, by earning additional money,
family
are able to
purchase
more toys or visit foreign countries on vacation. Take
developing countries
as
a
example, most
family
cannot go abroad
because
of shortage of money.

In conclusion
, I
think
that mothers have not to work unless they are needy to extra income. Whereas extra money would better off
families`
life style and the presence of a mother might be beneficial for
children
future life.
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IELTS essay In today`s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say children in these families benefit from additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents` absence

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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