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Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food? v.3

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food? v. 3
Selecting subjects in territory education have been a paramount consideration for students. It has become common trend these days that students in high school have been pursuing their academic study and it is suggested to motivate them to take training on vocational skills, however, I firmly believe that university education has an edge over vocational education and I intend to discuss my views in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, there is a segment of society who favour this notion, believes that learning such motor proficiency would make individual not only self-dependent in one’s daily requirements but also proves immeasurably beneficial in case of emergency requirements. It is generally seen that at every home there is such requirements on almost every alternate day and having good hands on such things would make life easier as a person could manage different things by his own. For instance, if one knows plumbing and he faces water leakage at home than he could fix that easily in just few minutes without waiting for any plumber. Therefore, learning such skills makes people’s life easier as it aids individual to surmount possible impediments by fixing issues at their level. On the other hand, learning vocational skills is not a good option because not only it is arduous for one to continue it as a source of earning for a long time as it is an extremely hard job but also these jobs are less paid as compared to other skilled jobs. This is because there are myriad of high scale jobs available for those who have good academic degrees, which provides good salary package and modern lifestyle for an individual and his family. The Software Engineer profile can be taken as an example, which is one of the highly paid and reputed jobs in the market as compare to the electrician job. Hence, studying vocational skills are not ought to provide requisite career options to students. To conclude, although having training on vocational subjects are conducive, encouraging students to continue their academic studies are quite fruitful in terms of providing secure and highly skilled job options which require less physical work.
Selecting subjects in territory education have been a paramount consideration for students. It has become common trend these days that students in high school have been pursuing their academic study and it
is suggested
to motivate them to take training on vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
however
, I
firmly
believe that university education has an edge over vocational education and I intend to discuss my views in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a segment of society who
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
this notion, believes that learning such motor proficiency would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individual not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
self-dependent in one’s daily requirements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
proves
immeasurably
beneficial in case of emergency requirements. It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that at every home
Did you mean "there are such requirements"?
there is such requirements
on almost every alternate day and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
hands on such things would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier as a person could manage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For instance
, if one knows
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
plumbing and
he faces water leakage at home than he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
that
easily
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
few minutes without waiting for any plumber.
Therefore
, learning such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life easier as it aids individual to surmount possible impediments by fixing issues at their level.

On the other hand
, learning vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it is arduous for one to continue it as a source of earning for a long time as it is an
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are less paid as compared to other skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are myriad of high scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
available for those who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
academic degrees, which provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
salary package and modern lifestyle for an individual and his family. The Software Engineer profile can
be taken
as an example, which is one of the
highly
paid and reputed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the market as compare to the electrician
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Hence
, studying vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are not ought to provide requisite career options to students.

To conclude
, although having training on vocational subjects are conducive, encouraging students to continue their academic studies are quite fruitful in terms of providing secure and
highly
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
options which require less physical work.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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