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Most people agree that money cannot bring happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? v.1

Most people agree that money cannot bring happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? v. 1
Many individuals consent that happiness does not come from having money. If it could, the richest people would be the happiest, but they are not always satisfied with their wealth. However, in fact, most of the rich and famous persons are not always happy in the world. This really shows money is not a key to happiness. Pleasure is not easy to define because it is a relative. The things that make someone happy is not similar to another human. For instance, if the toys or toffees are given to kids they feel joyful. An adult, however is unlikely to be happy if they receive such objects. Likewise, a poor man who found the jackpot feels utmost pleasure, but the same bliss would not be for the richest individual. Moreover, an unhealthy human recovers from illness, it is the biggest happiness in life. Healthy people, on the other hand never appreciate on their health. Despite happiness means different things to different persons. Unlike, elder people feel happy when their children meet them, but the same pleasure would not be for their kids. As one can be happy, famous, good looking but still they cannot feel satisfied with their life. At the same time, there are others who feel wonderful with what they have. Hence, happiness is feeling satisfied with what they have in their lives. Finding happiness is not that hard. But person can be bliss and satisfied what one has. Generally, people choose unwanted things and feel disappointed. This is the main cause of unhappiness. Although, if a human wants to be happy, they should set some realistic goals as they feel joyful and has a purpose in their life. To sum up, enjoyment is not that hard to define. It always depends on human nature. Moreover, money cannot purchase joy as it comes from self satisfaction and by setting the realistic goals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals consent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from having money. If it could, the richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be the happiest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with their wealth.
However
, in fact, most of the rich and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons are not always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in the world. This
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
money is not a key to happiness.

Pleasure is not easy to define
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a relative. The things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
is not similar to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
For instance
, if the toys or toffees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to kids they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
joyful. An adult,
however
is unlikely to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
if they receive such objects.
Likewise
, a poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who found the jackpot
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feels
utmost pleasure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same bliss would not be for the richest individual.
Moreover
, an unhealthy
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human
recovers from illness, it is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in life. Healthy
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people
,
on the other hand
never appreciate on their health.

Despite
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happiness
means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
persons. Unlike, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
when their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same pleasure would not be for their kids. As one can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with their life. At the same time, there are others who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
wonderful with what they have.
Hence
,
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happiness
is feeling
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satisfied
with what they have in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Finding
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happiness
is not that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
person can be bliss and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
what one has.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose unwanted things and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
disappointed. This is the main cause of unhappiness. Although, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
wants to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, they should set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
realistic goals as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
joyful and has a purpose in their life.

To sum up, enjoyment is not that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to define. It always depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
nature.
Moreover
, money cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
joy as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self satisfaction
and by setting the realistic goals.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people agree that money cannot bring happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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