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Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees this is beneficial v.1

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees this is beneficial v. 1
The world witnessed a lot of diverse developments in the 21st century. One such important development is globalisation and it has influenced every aspect of life. Many people are excited about living in a globalized world, yet a few people believe that globalization is not beneficial. A careful analysis shows that globalisation has both merits and demerits. Globalisation offers us a plethora of merits. The most important one among them is the easy availability of services and products. It is because of globalisation, the services or products available only in selected countries are now available around the world. For example an Apple iPhone gets its motherboard and the phone body manufactured in the USA and China respectively. This gets assembled in another country where it is sold. Globalisation has an additional advantage of increasing the employment opportunities in developing and Underdeveloped countries. Globalisation also helps to reduce the price of products by getting them manufactured in countries where the labour cost is low. On the flip side, the negative aspects of globalisation cannot be wished away / cannot be overlooked. It interferes with the tradition, culture and the way of living of a country in which it is implemented. Globalisation enables multinational companies to exploit the natural resources of poor countries. To consider an example, beverage companies established in India have their presence in river beds. They consume gallons of water and affect the agricultural activity, which is the backbone of the country. Therefore globalisation alters the existing activity in a country to bring in a new service. To recapitulate, even though globalisation has become essential for the ease of living, it also endangers the way of life in many countries.
The world witnessed
a lot of
diverse developments in the 21st century. One such
important
development is
globalisation
and it has influenced every aspect of life.
Many
people
are excited
about living in a globalized world,
yet
a few
people
believe that
globalization
is not beneficial. A careful analysis
shows
that
globalisation
has both merits and demerits.

Globalisation
offers us a plethora of merits. The most
important
one among them is the easy availability of services and products. It is
because
of
globalisation
, the services or products available
only
in selected
countries
are
now
available around the world.
For example
an Apple iPhone
gets
its motherboard and the phone body manufactured in the USA and China
respectively
.
This
gets
assembled in another
country
where it
is sold
.
Globalisation
has an additional advantage of increasing the employment opportunities in developing
and


Underdeveloped
countries
.
Globalisation
also
helps
to
reduce
the price of products by getting them manufactured in
countries
where the
labour
cost is low.

On the flip side, the
negative
aspects of
globalisation
cannot
be wished
away / cannot
be overlooked
. It interferes with the tradition, culture and the way of living of a
country
in which it
is implemented
.
Globalisation
enables multinational
companies
to exploit the natural resources of poor
countries
. To consider an example, beverage
companies
established in India have their presence in river beds. They consume gallons of water and affect the agricultural activity, which is the backbone of the
country
.
Therefore
globalisation
alters the existing activity in a
country
to bring in a new service.

To recapitulate,
even though
globalisation
has become essential for the
ease
of living, it
also
endangers the way of life in
many
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees this is beneficial v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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