Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growth industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poor.

Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growth industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poor. 5axjA
There is an opinion that growth tourism is nonlinear with the economic of people in poor countries. This is show that a good tourism industry does not always give advantage to the poor. In this article provides how to make the tourism industry benefit for the community. Besides that, how important to keep authentic culture and values of people life there. The first way to make income generated by tourism benefit people is to support the local businessman and small and micro scale business. It can be applying with the government support the financial and provide economic location to them. For example in Bali, a lot of hotels and small scale business driven by local people. Given this policy, people with small economic capacity can earn money with selling food and stuff from Bali. Secondly, the businessman of high level business such as hotel, restorant, and nature tour must recruit local workers. It can be seen in Bali where lots of domestic people working in the tourism area. So, Bali has been famous with high employment of local people. This is a positive impact through tourism in to domestic economic. Both in business and employment side. After all of the positive impact that can achieve by utilise tourism, government also have to pay attention to maintain cultures and values of the nation. My take on this is society can implement tradition event routinely. So that our society and foreigners can understand the tradition. From this, we can grasp the meaning and value of all those cultures. The other important thing to do is foreigners must obey the rules by law and value. In order to keep life safety and comfortable. To sum up, this is possible to get a positive income for the local people in tourism area. So tourism can generate benefits in financial and cultural.
There is an opinion that growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is nonlinear with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in poor countries. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry does not always give advantage to the poor. In this article provides how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry benefit for the community.
Besides
that, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
authentic culture and values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life there.

The
first
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
income generated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businessman and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and micro scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. It can be applying with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support the financial and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
location to them.
For example
in Bali,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
hotels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
driven by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this policy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
capacity can earn money with selling food and stuff from Bali.
Secondly
, the businessman of high level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
such as hotel,
Possible spelling mistake found.
restorant
, and nature tour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
recruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
workers. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Bali where lots of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Bali has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
with high employment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in to domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
. Both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and employment side.

After
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact that can achieve by
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay attention to maintain cultures and values of the nation. My take on this is society can implement tradition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
routinely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that our society and foreigners can understand the tradition. From this, we can grasp the meaning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of all those cultures. The other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to do is foreigners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
obey the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
by law and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
life safety and comfortable.

To sum up, this is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
income for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can generate benefits in financial and cultural.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growth industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poor.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts