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Most of the women in the workforce work after having children. Some people believe it can have negative impact on the children.

Most of the women in the workforce work after having children. Some people believe it can have negative impact on the children. 0ALWn
Increasing number of the women in the workforce is often witnessed these days, even when their children are quite young. This phenomenon seems to reap enormous benefits such as helping financially and can play influential role in the life of others; however there is also a downside that can be observed, like the children might lack the care of a mother and can have a enormous impact on their brain. This essay will expound both the notions in details and on the whole states that this has more advantages. Undoubtedly, working women are most of the time working for the full time. Due to which they might not be able to find some quality time, to spend with her family and children. Leading, to gap between the children and the parents. This can also result in children being depressed as they might feel out of the loop and left over when they will require their family and especially mother the most. This trend seems to have a profound impact on psychology of the child. According to one of the researches that was conducted, it was found that children that having both parents working are likely to become more of introverts and like to live alone. Such type of behaviour can affect the child at the later stages of life. Despite the above, working women has proved to be the backbone of the family. Financial expenses of the family can be easily managed while both the parents are working. With astronomical hikes in the education of the children, it becomes easier for the family to cope with the expenses of the child’s education along with houshold. The prominent of all, working women is ideal to many. Many a times it is observed that in the suburb areas women are not allowed to work after they give birth to the child. Such working women can act as a inspiration to many and help them to become independent. To conclude I reiterate that working women can have some disadvantages like they might not be able to look towards their children but helping in the financial expenses and even the important role they play in the society cannot be overshadowed.
Increasing number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the workforce is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
witnessed these days, even when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are quite young. This phenomenon seems to reap enormous benefits such as helping
financially
and can play influential role in the life of others;
however
there is
also
a downside that can
be observed
, like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lack the care of a mother and can have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
enormous impact on their brain. This essay will expound both the notions in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
on the whole
states that this has more advantages.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Due to which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be able to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, to spend with her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Leading, to gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the parents. This can
also
result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being depressed
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
feel out of the loop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
over when they will require their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
especially
mother the most. This trend seems to have a profound impact on psychology of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. According to one of the researches that
was conducted
, it
was found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that having both parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
are likely to become more of introverts and like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone. Such type of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
at the later stages of life.

Despite the above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has proved to be the backbone of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Financial expenses of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can be
easily
managed while both the parents are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. With astronomical hikes in the education of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it becomes easier for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to cope with the expenses of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
education along with
Possible spelling mistake found.
houshold
.
The phrase 'The prominent of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'The' and 'of'.
The prominent of
all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is ideal to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
it
is observed
that in the suburb areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to work after they give birth to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can act as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
inspiration to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become independent.

To conclude
I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be able to look towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
helping in the financial expenses and even the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role they play in the society cannot
be overshadowed
.
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IELTS essay Most of the women in the workforce work after having children. Some people believe it can have negative impact on the children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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