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Most of the people think that the government should spend more money on exploring the outer space, while some think that it is a waste of public fund. discuss both the views and give your own opinions. v.1

Most of the people think that the government should spend more money on exploring the outer space, while some think that it is a waste of public fund. v. 1
It is often argued that girls prefer to study art subjects like literature, home science, and history, whereas boys tend to take up science-related subjects like physics, chemistry, and mathematics at the secondary and tertiary level of education. This essay will try to analyse the reasons for their preferred choice of subjects between the two sexes and whether this trend needs to be altered. Undoubtedly, the difference in subject choice between the sexes does exist in all parts of the globe. One of the primary reasons for this selective trend is the basic difference in the working of the human intellect between the two genders. To specify, it has been proved that several types of research that there are subtle differences in the mental makeup and working capacity of the male and female brain. Girls have been consistently performing better in subjects like arts because of their increased capacity to memorize facts and data, and their tenacity. On the other hand, the male intellect usually has more analytical power than their female counterpart. Additionally, societal norms and pressures often tend to create this bias between boys and girls. It is expected by the society that girls will do better in arts-related subjects whereas boys will excel in science. In a recent survey conducted in the world famous, prestigious universities in the United Kingdom, it was seen that over 60% of female students took up literature whereas only 20% of male students studied home science. Together, this selective tendency needs to be changed or not is a controversial topic. In my opinion, it can be changed only partially because we can only change societal outlook towards a particular stream or profession. We cannot change the anatomy or physiology of the human brain. To illustrate, over the last 30 years, the number of female students entering the Indian Institutes of Technology has risen by 35%! This clearly indicates a paradigm shift in the Indian mentality towards the education of women. To conclude, it is true that there is a definite selection bias in subjects between girls and boys which is partly due to biological differences and partly to societal beliefs. Societal mindset can definitely be changed over time to decrease this selection bias.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
prefer to study art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like literature, home science, and history, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
tend to take up science-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like physics, chemistry, and mathematics at the secondary and tertiary level of education. This essay will try to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the reasons for their preferred choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
between the two sexes and whether this trend needs to
be altered
.

Undoubtedly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difference
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
choice between the sexes does exist in all parts of the globe. One of the primary reasons for this selective trend is the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difference
in the working of the human intellect between the two genders. To specify, it has
been proved
that several types of research that there are subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
in the mental makeup and working capacity of the male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
brain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
have been
consistently
performing better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their increased capacity to memorize facts and data, and their tenacity.
On the other hand
, the male intellect
usually
has more analytical power than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
counterpart.

Additionally
, societal norms and pressures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to create this bias between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
by the society that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
will do better in arts-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
will excel in science. In a recent survey conducted in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, prestigious universities in the United Kingdom, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that over 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students took up literature whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% of male students studied home science.

Together, this selective tendency needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
or not is a controversial topic. In my opinion, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
societal outlook towards a particular stream or profession. We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the anatomy or physiology of the human brain. To illustrate, over the last 30 years, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students entering the Indian Institutes of Technology has risen by 35%! This
clearly
indicates a paradigm shift in the Indian mentality towards the education of women.

To conclude
, it is true that there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
selection bias in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
which is partly due to biological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
and partly to societal beliefs. Societal mindset can definitely be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over time to decrease this selection bias.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the people think that the government should spend more money on exploring the outer space, while some think that it is a waste of public fund. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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