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Most of people prefer to do shopping in supermarket rather than shops due to which shops are closing day by day. Is it positive or negative development?

Most of people prefer to do shopping in supermarket rather than shops due to which shops are closing day by day. Is it positive or negative development? KypyL
The trend of shopping is proliferating among the people and, as a result, most of people prefer shopping complexes for shopping rather than street shops, therefore, local shops are closing day by day. According to my perspective, it pay rich dividends to the denizens because of its conveniency, offers and so on. To begin with the merits of malls owing to which shopping centers become prominent in all around the world. First and foremost, when it comes to comfortability, it is the easiest way to buy the various products such as stationary, grocery, cosmetics and many more. To substantiate, because of large area, all rudimentary needs are available under the single roof. This, people need not go to distinct shops to purchase their stuff. Secondly, it not only provides variety to the people but also provide numerous discounts and offers. To elaborate, in this way they can take best quality, as well as save a big chunk of money by doing shopping in supermarket. To sight an example a research conducted by university of British Columbia in 2017 in Canada on group of 500 people revealed that 90% of then took various offers while their shopping and also purchased quality products from malls. Probing further, it has some advantages which are quite beneficial for people. Primarily, with a view to entertainment, shopping centers provide theatre and game section. To clarify, with the help of these amenities, they can enjoy the movies and play both physical and electronic games. More over, they can spend their quality time with their family and friends. Lastly, malls had better provide eating section where people can enjoy traditional and western food. Apart from this, people can do numerous activities along with shopping in supermarket. To illustrate, a new shopping centre recently built in bathinda. Where it provides different sections such as for movies and games for the betterment of citizens. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that if people go to shopping complexes, they can do a lot of activities which are quite beneficial for them.
The trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is proliferating among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and,
as a result
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complexes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
rather
than street shops,
therefore
, local shops are closing day by day. According to my perspective, it
Did you mean "pays"?
pay
rich dividends to the denizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
Possible spelling mistake found.
conveniency
, offers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the merits of malls owing to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers become prominent in all around the world.
First
and foremost, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortability
, it is the easiest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the various products such as stationary, grocery, cosmetics and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. To substantiate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of large area, all rudimentary needs are available under the single roof. This,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need not go to distinct shops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their stuff.
Secondly
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
variety to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
numerous discounts and offers. To elaborate, in this way they can
A determiner is probably missing here: "take the best".
take best
quality,
as well
as
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunk of money by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in supermarket. To sight an example
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by university of British Columbia in 2017 in Canada on group of 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
revealed that 90% of then took various offers while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
quality products from malls.

Probing
further
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages which are quite beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Primarily
, with a view to entertainment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and game section. To clarify, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these amenities, they can enjoy the movies and play both physical and electronic games. More over, they can spend their quality time with their family and friends.
Lastly
, malls had better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
eating section where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy traditional and western food. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do numerous activities along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in supermarket. To illustrate, a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
recently built in
Possible spelling mistake found.
bathinda
. Where it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sections such as for movies and games for the betterment of citizens.

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complexes, they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities which are quite beneficial for them.
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IELTS essay Most of people prefer to do shopping in supermarket rather than shops due to which shops are closing day by day. Is it positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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