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Floods, a natural disaster, have caused a lot of damage to my country

Floods, a natural disaster, have caused a lot of damage to my country 2aDKM
Floods, a natural disaster, have caused a lot of damage to my country. In only 2020, it had caused a lot of damage to agriculture; more than 1, 000 hectares of rice and 7, 200 hectares of crops were flooded and damaged. The estimated total value of property damage is VND 2, 300 billion, accounting for 83. 8% of the total value of property damage caused by natural disasters. That's a terrible statistic. Flood also made 129 people dead and missing, 214 people injured. As you see above, floods cause lots of negative effects on Vietnam. However, thank for the modern devices and careful preparation so we can predict and reduce a part of destruction caused by floods.
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Floods
, a natural disaster, have
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caused
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a lot of
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damage
to my country. In
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only
2020, it had
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caused
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a lot of
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damage
to agriculture; more than 1, 000 hectares of rice and 7, 200 hectares of crops
were flooded
and damaged. The estimated total value of property
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damage
is VND 2, 300 billion, accounting for 83. 8% of the total value of property
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by natural disasters. That's a terrible statistic.
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Flood
also
made 129
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dead and missing, 214
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
injured. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
above,
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floods
cause lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on Vietnam.
However
, thank for the modern devices and careful preparation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can predict and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a part of destruction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floods
.

IELTS essay Floods, a natural disaster, have caused a lot of damage to my country

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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