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difference between you and your family

difference between you and your family 9lDB0
I live in an extended family. There are five people in my family: I have one sister, my grandfather and my parents of course. Living in an extended family, in my opinion, is a superior option for most people. There is no denying that all generation distinguishes from the last in numerous ways. Because of the consequences of technical development and globalization, there is a significant divide between my generation and that of my parents. Every generation has its own set of values, objectives, and way of living. I'll go over some of the distinctions that I believe should be taken into account. To begin with, my generation spends more free time than my parents' generation in a variety of ways. They used to have time to do things like play sports, chat to friends, or go to the park when they were younger. My generation nowadays spends a lot of time in front of the computer or watching television, and they dislike doing things that my parents' age did. Second, our way of life has fundamentally altered. My parents used to cook their own food when they went to see their relatives in the past. We are a fast-paced generation that eats fast food and works long days. People's objectives have also shifted. Women, for example, used to desire to start a family and spend time with their kids. Women of my generation, on the other hand, not only have a family but also work long hours and have career ambitions. Finally, compared to my parents' generation, the current generation is more familiarized with modern technologies. The advent of technology has highlighted generational disparities and might be regarded the primary cause of these shifts. For example, we can send an email, make purchases, and check our bank account all from the comfort of our own home. It helps you save money and time. Finally, I believe that both generations have benefits and drawbacks. Some things from the previous generation appeal to me, but I recognize that technological development has enhanced our living. As a result, I am unable to determine which generation is preferable.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. There are five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
: I have one sister, my grandfather and my parents
of course
. Living in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, in my opinion, is a superior option for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There is no denying that all generation distinguishes from the last in numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the consequences of technical development and globalization, there is a significant divide between my generation and that of my parents. Every generation has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set of values, objectives, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of living. I'll go over
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
distinctions that I believe should
be taken
into account.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, my generation spends more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than my parents' generation in a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do things like play sports, chat to friends, or go to the park when they were younger. My generation nowadays spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the computer or watching television, and they dislike doing things that my parents' age did.

Second, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of life has
fundamentally
altered. My parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cook their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food when they went to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their relatives in the past. We are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced generation that eats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and works long days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's objectives have
also
shifted. Women,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their kids. Women of my generation,
on the other hand
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
work long hours and have career ambitions.

Finally
, compared to my parents' generation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation is more familiarized with modern technologies. The advent of technology has highlighted generational disparities and might
be regarded
the primary cause of these shifts.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an email,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
our bank account all from the comfort of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you save money and time.

Finally
, I believe that both generations have benefits and drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
things from the previous generation appeal to me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I recognize that technological development has enhanced our living.
As a result
, I am unable to determine which generation is preferable.
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IELTS essay difference between you and your family

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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