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Most newspapers today publish more advertisements than concrete news, unlike in the past. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Newspapers are vital source for reporting all the happenings in the world in very economical way. Earlier it published the article on the realistic material going on in the society but now it focus more on the promotion of the product. There is a positive as well as negative development. Now days every individual is connected to the digital application where they can read news paper online Newspaper plays a important role in the society on influencing abilities. People consider actors, models, sport person etc as their ideal and they want to be like them. For instance, Revital capsules the brand by Sun Pharmaceutical contains several vitamins and minerals etc which is essential for the daily body energy needs but was not known among the society. When Salman Khan promotes this brand, people are started consuming this capsule and have the positive impact on the body. Thus not only financial capital of the company increase but people health`s also improve. On the other hand people, just focusing on advert had a detrimental development in the society. Magazines do not publish the factual news going on around the globe which people should be know of. Likely in Italy, the women was thrown acid on the face and had to undergo several surgery to heal her wound and it made her blind completely. Thus new law passed by the government where victim can punish the person who is guilty rather than government punished them. Thus victim demanded throwing acid on criminal person the same as he did to her. Thus the person will think twice before committing the crime knowing the consequences or punishment and incidence of acid attack on the women will be reduced. In my views, presenting more adverts than the real fact news in newspaper has positive as well as negative development on the society. Promoting the brand increases the per capita of the company and improves physical health of the people. But people are unaware of the real news which are not published which it is crucial and beneficial for the society to reduce crime.
Newspapers are vital source for reporting all the happenings in the world in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
economical way. Earlier it published the article on the realistic material going on in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it
Did you mean "focuses", "focusses"?
focus
more on the promotion of the product. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
days every individual
is connected
to the digital application where they can read
This word is normally spelled as one.
news paper
online Newspaper plays
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
on influencing abilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
consider actors, models, sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
etc as their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ideal and
they want to be like them.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Revital
capsules the brand by Sun Pharmaceutical contains several vitamins and minerals etc which is essential for the daily body energy needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was not known among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. When Salman Khan promotes this brand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
consuming this capsule and have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the body.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
financial capital of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The character between 'health' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "health’s" (curly apostrophe) or "health's" (straight apostrophe).
health`s
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focusing on advert had a detrimental development in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Magazines do not publish the factual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
going on around the globe which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
Consider using a past participle here: "known".
know
of. Likely in Italy, the women
was thrown
acid on the face and had to undergo
Possible agreement error. The noun surgery seems to be countable; consider using: "several surgeries".
several surgery
to heal her wound and it made her blind completely.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
law passed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
where victim can punish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is guilty
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
punished them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
victim demanded throwing acid on criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
the same as he did to her.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing the crime knowing the consequences or punishment and incidence of acid attack on the women will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

In my views, presenting more adverts than the real fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in newspaper has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Promoting the brand increases the per capita of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
physical health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which are not published which it is crucial and beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime.
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IELTS essay Most newspapers today publish more advertisements than concrete news, unlike in the past. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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