Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some think that discipline should be the responsibility of the teachers while others think that this is the role of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

With the affluence of western culture and modernisation in all the countries, the youth of this generation are truly opposite as that of our parents generation. Discipline is a virtue that needs to be practised by each individual from early childhood. In this essay we will discuss how parents and teachers play a vital role in a child’s disciplinary aspect. In my opinion, parents play an important role in inculcating value and ethics in their children. Nowadays, teachers in modern schools have entirely different approaching in their teaching methods than that of the traditional methods. It is undeniable that teachers are the pivotal of mentorship and imparting education from the beginning of a child’s life but responsibility of shaping the child’s ethics, values and discipline cannot solely rely in the hands of teachers. For example, recent study conducted by Harvard university, said that 85 percentage of child’s behaviour is directly influenced by their parents. In other words, parents constitute large amount of influence on their child’s overall development. Since birth when a child is born, they pick up major habits and imitate their parents. Therefore, parent’s are mainly responsible in imparting discipline in children as they spend the entire childhood nurturing and inculcating prime values onto them which is carried by the child for their entire life. According to scientific studies done by WHO, 55 percent of genetics of the parents are inherited by the children which also included the social and mental behaviour of the child. In my opinion, parents play the major role in shaping the child’s future by guiding the child in step of their life and also imparting the right kind of attitude and discipline necessary to lead their lives as they spend the entire childhood majorly growing up with the parents.
With the affluence of western culture and
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
in all the countries, the youth of this generation are
truly
opposite as that of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Discipline
is a virtue that needs to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
by each individual from early childhood. In this essay we will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a vital role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
disciplinary aspect. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in inculcating value and ethics in their children.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in modern schools have
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaching in their teaching methods than that of the traditional methods. It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
The phrase 'the pivotal of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the pivotal of
mentorship and imparting education from the beginning of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
responsibility of shaping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
ethics, values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
cannot
solely
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "rely on".
rely
in the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
For example
, recent study conducted by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
, said that 85 percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is
directly
influenced by their parents.

In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
constitute large amount of influence on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
overall
development. Since birth when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is born
, they pick up major habits and imitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
,
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
parent’s
are
mainly
responsible in imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
in children as they spend the entire childhood nurturing and inculcating prime values onto them which
is carried
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
for their entire life. According to scientific studies done by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, 55 percent of genetics of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are inherited
by the children which
also
included the social and mental
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the child.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play the major role in shaping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
future by guiding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in step of their life and
also
imparting the right kind of attitude and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
necessary to lead their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as they spend the entire childhood
majorly
growing up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some think that discipline should be the responsibility of the teachers while others think that this is the role of the parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts