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Most societies has its homeless people.some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.

As we all know every country has some homeless peoples and they do have some basic needs to survive. So they need food to feed their belly, clothes to wear and shelter is the necessary thing for them. So i believe that giving cash to them is not enough to takle these problems in long term. If we gave them specific amount of money they spend this cash on buying food and clothes. With this limited cash they wouldn't fulfill their all needs permanently. Although, we should gave them a good job with that they can fulfill their all needs. when they have job they can earned moneny on weelky or monthly bases regularly. In this way they takle their problems more effectively rather then giving money to them. Hence, in my perspective giving money to homeless wouldn't change their life permanently.
As we all know every country has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
homeless
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
peoples and
they do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
food to feed their belly, clothes to wear and shelter is the necessary thing for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that giving cash to them is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
takle
these problems in long term. If we gave them specific amount of money they spend this cash on buying food and clothes. With this limited cash they wouldn't fulfill their all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
permanently
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, we should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "give"
gave
them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job with that they can fulfill their all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
they have
Possible agreement error – use past participle here: "jobbed".
job
they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "earn"
earned
Possible spelling mistake found.
moneny
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
weelky
or monthly bases
regularly
. In this way they
Possible spelling mistake found.
takle
their problems more
effectively
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
giving money to them.
Hence
, in my perspective giving money to homeless wouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
permanently
.

IELTS essay Most societies has its homeless people. some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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