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Most modern families have both parents working as a result children spend less and less time with their parents what is the reason for this

Most modern families have both parents working as a result children spend less and less time with their parents what is the reason for this MxLe
In the global era parents working every day without paying attention for their children. This can be cause negative effects on children behaviour. Initially, parents are going to make favorable conditions, and they are really take care of their children. However parents spend most of their times at work every day in order to get a high salary. In that time children get less observation, and they become a misbehave and unkind it can be worth and disconnection from social life.
In the global era parents working every day without paying attention for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This can
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Initially
, parents are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
favorable conditions, and they are
really
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
take
care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
parents spend most of their times at work every day in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high salary. In that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less observation, and they become
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'misbehave' is correct. If 'misbehave' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a misbehave
and unkind it can be worth and disconnection from social life.

IELTS essay Most modern families have both parents working as a result children spend less and less time with their parents what is the reason for this

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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