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Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

Developing in businesses have given an opportunity to youth those have a great talent for specific jobs. A plethora of countries are hiring male staff on higher positions, even majority of offices contain women skilled worker. To solve this unequal percentage, A numerous of people may agree to reserve the senior occupations for ladies, but others prefer to provide the fair chance for every gender. I will explain my opine with relevant examples on latter statement. Firstly, higher designations are owned by experience and skills. Major authorities are provided to worker, accordance to their qualification and work experience, which may drive toward profit. For example, A survey show that females are selected as CEO in many companies for their hard-work behaviour against work, not on the basis of reservation. Secondly, gender equality society may be demolished if we provide unfair chance to every gender. In today’s world, men and women are at same position, to occupy some position for any gender, creates unfair chance to any deserving candidate that also leads to company’s failure. Such as, schools always favor males for PT teachers and Female for Moral science, it depicts the reservation for both vacancies. Last but not the least, determination and hardwork cover the distance from employee to employer. There are many companies who hires both genders at same position and promote them as per their concentration and learning ability related to job. The amazon run a promotion for senior executive, in which 5 women and 2 men participate, only two candidates reach at final stage, that are women, because of their skills. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that job s are not meant for reservation, workers will be choose by their abilities and dedication toward the work
Developing in businesses have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an opportunity to youth those have a great talent for specific jobs. A plethora of countries are hiring male staff on higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
, even majority of offices contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
skilled worker. To solve this unequal percentage, A
Did you mean the noun “number”?
numerous
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to reserve the senior occupations for ladies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others prefer to provide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance for every gender. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opine with relevant examples on latter statement.

Firstly
, higher designations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Major authorities
are provided
to worker, accordance to their qualification and work experience, which may drive toward profit.
For example
, A survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that females
are selected
as CEO in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
against work, not on the basis of reservation.

Secondly
, gender equality society may
be demolished
if we provide unfair chance to every gender. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are at same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
, to occupy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
for any gender, creates unfair chance to any deserving candidate that
also
leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s failure. Such as, schools always favor males for PT teachers and Female for Moral science, it depicts the reservation for both vacancies.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, determination and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
cover the distance from employee to employer. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
who
Did you mean “hire”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘companies’ should be used.
hires
both genders at same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and promote them as per their concentration and learning ability related to job. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
run a promotion for senior executive, in which 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and 2
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
participate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two candidates reach at final stage, that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that job s are not meant for reservation, workers will be
Consider using the past participle “chosen”.
choose
by their abilities and dedication toward the work
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A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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