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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. what do you think are the main causes of crime? how can we deal with those causes? give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

We see increased trend of crime across various countries in the globe. There are multiple driving factors behind the same and we all need to put significant effort to eradicate the same. Though there are several reasons behind the increase in crime, in my opinion some of the main causes behind increased crime are poverty, education, racism and social structure. At one end, in developing and undeveloped country due to unsupported education system and poverty, children and youngsters join criminal groups to earn easy money to support their livelihood. On other side, we also find wide spread terrorisms in developed countries, and this is due to antisocial activists who wants to impact the economy and create disruption to the growth of business and countries economy by creating mass destruction. These antisocial activists are often backed by government bodies, business owners and underworld gangs. The root cause behind all these are selfish ways of growth and lack of basic moral sense of human values. To solve this widespread problem across all countries, we as responsible members of society need to take certain strict steps. We need to be fully aware and should have adequate understanding on the right and wrong. Need to follow ideology of harmony and peace and selfless overall human development to create better society which harmonizes and invites other community and races. We also need to make sure we guide and mentor our young ones, friends and family members about the right way of living the life. Apart from that, the constitution of the country needs to be strict enough to create a framework for serious punishments to the criminals without second opinion without delaying the verdict for the punishable offence. It is our basic responsibility to serve the mankind with good behavior, good deeds and support the ones demonstrating good moral values, at the same time we all need to join our hands together to make the world better by fighting against the evil deeds.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
increased trend of crime across various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the globe. There are multiple driving factors behind the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
same and
we all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to put significant effort to eradicate the same.

Though there are several reasons behind the increase in crime, in my opinion
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
main causes behind increased crime are poverty, education, racism and social structure. At one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, in developing and undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to unsupported education system and poverty, children and youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
criminal groups to earn easy money to support their livelihood. On other side, we
also
find
The adjective “widespread” is spelled as one word.
wide spread
Possible spelling mistake found.
terrorisms
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and this is due to antisocial activists who wants to impact the economy and create disruption to the growth of business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
economy by creating mass destruction. These antisocial activists are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
backed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies, business owners and underworld gangs. The root cause behind all these are selfish ways of growth and lack of basic moral sense of human values.

To solve this widespread problem across all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, we as responsible members of society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take certain strict steps. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
fully
aware and should have adequate understanding on the right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Need
to follow ideology of harmony and peace and selfless
overall
human development to create better society which harmonizes and invites other community and races. We
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure we guide and mentor our young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, friends and family members about the right way of living the life. Apart from that, the constitution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be strict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to create a framework for serious punishments to the criminals without second opinion without delaying the verdict for the punishable
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offence’ is British English.
offence
.

It is our basic responsibility to serve the mankind with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds and support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
demonstrating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral values, at the same time we all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
our hands together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world better by fighting against the evil deeds.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. what do you think are the main causes of crime? how can we deal with those causes?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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