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Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas. Why is this? What problems does this cause?

Most of the humans today are moving to metropolis cities across the globe. This rapid urbanisation is mainly due to more access to facilities and better lifestyle in cities. This trend of living in urban areas has brought several serious concerns. The most evident reason for people living in cities is access to many facilities. Because there are many employment opportunities and medical facilities, which mostly are not available in rural areas, individuals prefer living in cities. For example, corporate companies are built in cities as there a plethora of equipment to support the technology, which create means of income for people. Another reason for people living in urban places is to have a better lifestyle. If people have high-paid salaries, they would prefer to live in luxurious apartments to lead a comfortable life. On the other hand, this trend has brought several issues worth considering. Firstly, overcrowding of people in cities resulted in pollution because of using private vehicles on roads for transportation. Consequently, people are facing many health related problems such as Asthama and breathing difficulties for example. Secondly, increase in population density in urban environment also raised crime rate significantly due to poor living conditions. To illustrate, the research shows that crime rate has increased 20% in cities over the last decade in India. In conclusion, although people tend to live in cities to live a better lifestyle, crime rate and pollution problems are alarming. If measures are taken to control the criminal activities and environmental problems by the government, they could mitigate the urbanisation problem to the most extent.
Most of the humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are moving to metropolis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
across the globe. This rapid
Possible spelling mistake. ‘urbanisation’ is British English.
urbanisation
is
mainly
due to more access to facilities and better lifestyle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in urban areas has brought several serious concerns.

The most evident reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employment opportunities and medical facilities, which
mostly
are not available in rural areas, individuals prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For example
, corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are built
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as
It seems that a verb is missing.
there
a plethora of equipment to support the technology, which create means of income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in urban places is to have a better lifestyle. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have high-paid salaries, they would prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in luxurious apartments to lead a comfortable life.

On the other hand
, this trend has brought several issues worth considering.
Firstly
, overcrowding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
resulted in pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of using private vehicles on roads for transportation.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asthama
and breathing difficulties
for example
.
Secondly
, increase in population density in urban environment
also
raised crime rate
significantly
due to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
conditions. To illustrate, the research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that crime rate has increased 20% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
over the last decade in India.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better lifestyle, crime rate and pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are alarming. If measures
are taken
to control the criminal activities and environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, they could mitigate the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘urbanisation’ is British English.
urbanisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to the most extent.
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Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas. Why is this? What problems does this cause?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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