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Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. v.1

Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. v. 1
From my everyday experience and observation, I have to agree with the statement that our present experiences become valuable lessons for the future. Someone said that today's problems will be the best experience in the future. Below I will give some examples to support my position. First of all, I want to say that obstacles make people stronger. By overcoming difficulties people gain priceless and essential knowledge and experience. If one has to struggle with a disease he becomes stronger maybe not in a physical way but in a mental way. A person becomes more patient, more self-confident and more attentive. These qualities will help him to win his disease. Success has nothing to do with luck. People have to work hard in order to reach their goals. They face challenges and failures and often they lose. However, people do not give up. They use their previous experience and knowledge to try again and again. I think that difficulties teach us very valuable lessons. Only a man who understands this fact and knows how to use it in the future can succeed. Failures bring us wisdom and new experience. Finally, between a prudent and imprudent person, the main difference is their experiences and wit. A person learns a lot from the experiences he/ she went through the life. So experiences and previous mistakes help a person to become a successful one. To err is human but an intelligent person always learns from these mistakes and avoid these mistakes in future. Personally, I always try to analyse my mistakes and make conclusions. If I am not succeeded I know that next time I will avoid these mistakes and do my best.
From my everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and observation, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that our present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
valuable lessons for the future. Someone said that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's problems will be the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in the future. Below I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples to support my position.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I want to say that obstacles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stronger. By overcoming difficulties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain priceless and essential knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. If one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
struggle with a disease he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
stronger maybe not
Consider replacing "in a physical way" with the adverb for "physical"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a physical way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Consider replacing "in a mental way" with the adverb for "mental"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a mental way
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
more patient, more self-confident and more attentive. These qualities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to win his disease.

Success has nothing to do with luck.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to reach their goals. They face challenges and failures and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
they lose.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not give up. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and knowledge to try again and again. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that difficulties teach us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable lessons.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who understands this fact and knows how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in the future can succeed. Failures bring us wisdom and new experience.

Finally
, between a prudent and imprudent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, the main difference is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and wit. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
learns a lot from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
he/ she went through the life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a successful one. To err is human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
always learns from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
and avoid these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Personally
, I always try to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
conclusions. If I am not succeeded I know that
next
time I will avoid these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
and do my best.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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