Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Most countries spend a large amount of money on defence even though they are not at war.this money would be better spent of poor and disadvantaged citizens in those countries.to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most countries spend a large amount of money on defence even though they are not at war. this money would be better spent of poor and disadvantaged citizens in those countries. YgA8m
Countries are not at a war, still use a large amount of money fund to defend purchase, on the contrary It has been said that this money would be better spent other needs such as for improving an economic conditions of these countries. To commence with the view of agreement, if the country has strong military without good economic status it will be danger. The number of convicts in the country is increasing due to the economic downturn as well as, increase crime in society consequently the situation in the country is likely to deteriorate. Shifting toward the view of the disagreement, security is a highest priority in every country, a country can develop their economy as well as improve the living standard of poor and so on when they are be in pace. For example, to order to improve the economic Conditions of countrymen, they firstly must be safe. Further strengthening views, spending money on military such not a bad thing. since using the money in this way has indirect benefits such as reducing unemployment as well as crime. for instance, from last decade china increase 83%fund on military as well as some of money used to pay soldiers is go to their parents and families. To conclusions, it is true that most countries spend a lot of money on defence on the contrary I also think that there are economical benefits in some situations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
are not at a war,
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
fund to defend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
,
on the contrary
It has
been said
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would be better spent other needs such as for improving an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
conditions of these countries.

To commence with the view of agreement, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has strong military without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
status it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. The number of convicts in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is increasing due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
downturn as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as, increase crime in society
consequently
the situation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is likely to deteriorate.

Shifting toward the view of the disagreement, security is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest priority in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can develop their economy as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living standard of poor and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on when they are
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
in pace.
For example
, to order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
Conditions of countrymen, they
firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be safe.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
strengthening views, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on military such not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
since
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in this way has indirect benefits such as reducing unemployment as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as crime.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, from last decade china increase 83%fund on military as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to pay soldiers is
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
to their parents and families.

To conclusions, it is true that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
on the contrary
I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
benefits in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Most countries spend a large amount of money on defence even though they are not at war. this money would be better spent of poor and disadvantaged citizens in those countries.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts