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More people should be encouraged to do vocational training

More people should be encouraged to do vocational training mbrlA
Nowadays, the growing tendency to studying at university leads to lack of qualified workers in many types of job. Although study at university has a lot of benefits, I strongly agree that doing vocational training should be encouraged to more people. It is undeniable that the big advantages of higher academic study leads to a large number of people would like going to university. The main advantage of academic study is that candidates who graduate from university have a big chance to gain a well-paid job. This is because students going to university could acquire professional knowledge for a particular type of work, such as doctors and lawyers. In addition, at university, students would learn how to approach and solve problems, and they expect to improve their self-learning ability and creativity. However, I strongly agree that more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because of following reasons. Firstly, students who do vocational training could reduce their time in study. This is because completing a program in vocational schools takes less time than that in ordinary colleges or universities. In Vietnam, for example, it takes about 2 years to complete an electrical vocational training; whereas you would need at least 4 years if we go to university for academic study. Another reason is that vocational training specialize in providing students with the vocational education and technical skills. As a result, students could gain useful working skills quickly in actual situations, and they would find it easy to perform particular tasks when they start a job as a worker. Consequently, this workforce could solve the problem of lacking of qualified workers today. In conclusion, study in university and study in vocational training have different advantages. However, we should encourage more young people to do vocational training not only because of its advantages but also to solve the problem of lacking of qualified workers today.
Nowadays, the growing tendency to studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
leads to lack of qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of job. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that doing vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
should
be encouraged
to more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

It is undeniable that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of higher academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
leads to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is that candidates who graduate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chance to gain a well-paid job. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
could acquire professional knowledge for a particular type of work, such as doctors and lawyers.
In addition
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would learn how to approach and solve problems, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their self-learning ability and creativity.

However
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be encouraged
to do vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of following reasons.
Firstly
,
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students
who do vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
completing a program in vocational schools takes less time than that in ordinary colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. In Vietnam,
for example
, it takes about 2 years to complete an electrical vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
; whereas you would need at least 4 years if we go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Another reason is that vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
specialize in providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the vocational education and technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could gain useful working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
quickly
in actual situations, and they would find it easy to perform particular tasks when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a job as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
.
Consequently
, this workforce could solve the problem of lacking of qualified
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workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

In conclusion
,
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study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
.
However
, we should encourage more young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to solve the problem of lacking of qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS essay More people should be encouraged to do vocational training

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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