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Improvements in active researches on medicines

Improvements in active researches on medicines A38Mn
Improvements in active researches on medicines, medical equipment, and more advancements in health care systems increasing the life span of people. In the past, we don’t have such health care systems as a result many lives are lost. Although the immense technology saves the life of an individual it results in a growing number of old people in a society. This essay will discuss how a society could manage elderly people and how it can be achieved. In my opinion, managing elderly people is not a big deal these days. We have several facilities like old age homes, charities, government schemes, etc. to look after these people. There are many old-age homes available everywhere that look after the necessities of old citizens. Many charities are very happy to take care of old people. Government institutions helping families by funding a certain amount as a pension to these old persons which reduces the financial burden. In countries like India, almost all the old people getting a pension on monthly basis from state governments which is quite enough for their livelihood. For instance, In my family, my father is getting a good amount of pension. So, the financial burden is almost gone. These examples show that old people are not a burden anymore to society. To conclude, the growing number of old citizens in the society is not a big concern now as there are many old age homes, charities, financial assistance from the government in the form of pensions that helps to manage the elderly people.
Improvements in active researches on medicines, medical equipment, and more advancements in health care systems increasing the life span of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In the past, we don’t have such health care systems
as a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are lost
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
the immense technology saves the life of an individual it results in a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a society. This essay will discuss how a society could manage elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and how it can
be achieved
.

In my opinion, managing elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal these days. We have several facilities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age homes, charities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
schemes, etc. to look after these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age homes available everywhere that look after the necessities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
charities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
institutions helping families by funding a certain amount as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
persons which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the financial burden.

In countries like India, almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
on monthly basis from state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
which is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for their livelihood.
For instance
, In my family, my father is getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the financial burden is almost gone. These examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not a burden anymore to society.

To conclude
, the growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
citizens in the society is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age homes, charities, financial assistance from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pensions
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to manage the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Improvements in active researches on medicines

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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