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More people prefer to wear fashionable costumes

More people prefer to wear fashionable costumes PM6Wd
More people prefer to wear fashionable costumes. In my opinion, there are several positive and various negative sides of this development. On the one hand, there are various positive elements to consider in this development, and the main one is that some people and companies might be the beneficiaries of the popularity of these fashionable clothes. People who wear fashionable outfits can, for example, obtain an attractive image so they are more likely to get positive response from their friends or colleagues and they can also enhance their self-confidence that provide better performance in work interviews, especially when they are seeking jobs in the fashion industry. A further benefit is that factories that relevant with these cloths will increase their product sales so the workers will get a big bonus. On the other hand, there are various negative features to this development. The one that attract the most attention is that the fashionable clothes are likely have higher price because of more demanding - people will spend too much on fashionable clothes, they may have to reduce their spending on further education, physical fitness or traveling. The employees who work in the garment factories, they might work overtime to fulfill demand that can affects their health. A further negative point is that fashion trends change almost every week so people may develop the habit of purchasing new clothes too often and discarding old clothes. In conclusion, I believe that the arguments are varied, but the positive nature of this issue really balance out of the negative issues; it is, however, an important development which we must all consider very carefully and come to any conclusions.
More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
costumes. In my opinion, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
sides of this development.

On the one hand, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
elements to consider in this development, and the main one is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
might be the beneficiaries of the popularity of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
outfits can,
for example
, obtain an attractive image
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
response from their friends or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
colleagues and
they can
also
enhance their self-confidence that provide better performance in work interviews,
especially
when they are seeking jobs in the fashion industry. A
further
benefit is that factories that relevant with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloths
will increase their product sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the workers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
bonus.

On the other hand
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
features to this development. The one that attract the most attention is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are likely have higher price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of more demanding
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will spend too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their spending on
further
education, physical fitness or traveling. The employees who work in the garment factories, they might work overtime to fulfill demand that can affects their health. A
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
point is that fashion trends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
almost every week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may develop the habit of purchasing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and discarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
clothes.

In conclusion
, I believe that the arguments
are varied
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
nature of this issue
really
balance out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
issues; it is,
however
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
development which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
all consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
carefully
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to any conclusions.
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IELTS essay More people prefer to wear fashionable costumes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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