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Giving birth late of the curent generation

Giving birth late of the curent generation e3NwJ
It is true that young couples today tend to start their parenthood later. While some people believe it is beneficial to some extent, I strongly disagree with this. On the one hand, there are people who think that it is essential to give birth late. The salient reason is the inability to pay well for the child's future. Particularly, during the pregnancy, they have to take many bills namely the medical of giving birth, medicine. In addition, when their child grows up, they need to take into account the expense of dairy products and tuition fees after high school. Such a long-term expense call for a stable income which almost new-married couple lack. Therefore, it is reasonable for them to delay giving birth to prepare adequately for the life of their child in the future. Despite some good intentions, I believe that this phenomenon could cause many consequences. Firstly, the problem can result in the global demographic and aging of the world's population. In fact, Japan is one of the countries which has the percentage of senior citizens in the world. As a result, it puts pressure on the welfare of the government to support the old. Secondly, reproducing late is likely to cause many health problems. Particularly, women over 40 whose health is reduced and weakened, can suffer from being infertile or miscarriage during pregnancy. In conclusion, I firmly agree that the current generation should not give birth late to avoid several health problems.
It is true that young couples
today
tend to
start
their parenthood later. While
some
people
believe it is beneficial to
some
extent, I
strongly
disagree with this.

On the one hand, there are
people
who
think
that it is essential to give
birth
late. The salient reason is the inability to pay well for the child's future.
Particularly
, during the pregnancy, they
have to
take
many
bills
namely
the medical of giving
birth
, medicine.
In addition
, when their child grows up, they need to take into account the expense of dairy products and tuition fees after high school. Such a long-term expense call for a stable income which almost new-married couple lack.
Therefore
, it is reasonable for them to delay giving
birth
to prepare
adequately
for the life of their child in the future.

Despite
some
good
intentions, I believe that this phenomenon could cause
many
consequences.
Firstly
, the problem can result in the global demographic and aging of the world's population. In fact, Japan is one of the countries which has the percentage of senior citizens in the world.
As a result
, it puts pressure on the welfare of the
government
to support the
old
.
Secondly
, reproducing late is likely to cause
many
health problems.
Particularly
, women over 40 whose health is
reduced
and weakened, can suffer from being infertile or miscarriage during pregnancy.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
agree
that the
current
generation should not give
birth
late to avoid several health problems.
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IELTS essay Giving birth late of the curent generation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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