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more people following famous personalities why

more people following famous personalities why 2aVx6
Today, the individuals tend to follow affluent professional persons who belong to such sports, artist, vocal, and drama theatre professions. People come to know about such favorite starts by watching them on TV programs and reading journals articles. However, the name and fame, popularity, and luxurious lifestyle fetch attraction of individuals. This essay will discuss the reason why people copy famous persons and also disclose why it is not a decisive factor to inherit celebrities. First of all, there are plethoras of the reason why people want to copy famous persons. Firstly, the name and fame of such personalities lead the trend to follow their efforts and perspective towards achieving a goal. Secondly, the luxurious lifestyle and adequate financial backups of famous individuals also influence people. For instance, in India, where the people, especially youngsters, have the enthusiasm to copy persons from sports and film industries. They follow them as their role models and try to want to become like them. Finally, newsletters and TV broadcasting houses give a critical response to famous actors and athletes. Thus the advertisement and popularity of celebrities hold the common belief of peoples, On the other hand, due to cosmetic surgery, the film stars gain their presences and popularity. But ordinary people cannot efforts such expensive aspects. Therefore, this is not a good practice to follow favorite persons. However, some cosmetic surgery spurs health ailments as well. Apart from that, if the smoking and alcoholic drinking scenes will broadcast while performing in a film by an actor, then it might be intensified bad habits among the audience. So it is imperative to follow only positive aspects of famous personalities. Lastly, some celebrities do advertisement for prohibited products such as cigarettes and wines. Hence, a person who supports such stars will purchase these products, although these have health consequences. To sum up, due to the vibrant lifestyle and reputation of famous persons in the country, attracts familiar people from copying them. However, some inadequate approaches, such as smoking and drinking of affluent personalities, may affect social and health. In my view, individuals should acquire only positive aspects of celebrities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
affluent professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
who belong to such sports, artist, vocal, and drama
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
professions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about such favorite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
by watching them on TV programs and reading journals articles.
However
, the name and fame, popularity, and luxurious lifestyle fetch attraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. This essay will discuss the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
and
also
disclose why it is not a decisive factor to inherit celebrities.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
plethoras
of the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
.
Firstly
, the name and fame of such personalities lead the trend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
their efforts and perspective towards achieving a goal.
Secondly
, the luxurious lifestyle and adequate financial backups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
also
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in India, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
youngsters, have the enthusiasm to copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
from sports and film industries. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them as their role models and try to want to become like them.
Finally
, newsletters and TV broadcasting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
give a critical response to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
actors and athletes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the advertisement and popularity of celebrities hold the common belief of peoples,

On the other hand
, due to cosmetic surgery, the film stars gain their presences and popularity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot efforts such expensive aspects.
Therefore
, this is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cosmetic surgery spurs health ailments
as well
. Apart from that, if the smoking and alcoholic drinking scenes will broadcast while performing in a film by an actor, then it might
be intensified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits among the audience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is imperative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
celebrities do advertisement for prohibited products such as cigarettes and wines.
Hence
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who supports such stars will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
these products, although these have health consequences.

To sum up, due to the vibrant lifestyle and reputation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in the country, attracts familiar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from copying them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inadequate approaches, such as smoking and drinking of affluent personalities, may affect social and health. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of celebrities.
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IELTS essay more people following famous personalities why

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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