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More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

It is often observed that there is an increasing trend of people giving birth at a later age in current society. Although the rising trend of giving birth at an older age will greatly broaden the age difference in the labour force, having children at a later age also mean that parents are more financially and mentally prepared for the arrival of the toddler, leading to fewer problem children, which will significantly benefit the society as a whole. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of people giving birth at a later age are greater than the disadvantage caused by it. The greatest benefits of having kids at a later stage of one's life cycle are that it can reduce the number of children that lacks parental care. When parents giving birth to children at this stage of life, most of them are prepared for it, in terms of financially and mentally. They can provide decent care for the children and foster appropriate personal development. This could prevent them from participating in crimes, for instance, joining gangs and committing burglary. In result, the crime rate could be diminished and enhancing the welfare of society as a whole. The major downfall of this trend is that there would be a diminish in the economic output of the labour force. Since the working population will be into two age group and leading to greater conflict between the two. Since people tend to have children much later than the past, new labour force will enter the market much sooner than before. Eventually, it will be separated into two major groups. Due to the difference in culture and norms, for example, work attitude and ethics, conflicts will become more serious. This damage the cohesiveness of workforce tremendously in the long run and therefore reducing the economic performance. It is unarguable that citizens are giving birth much later in the present world. While this trend may lead to unsatisfactory economic performance, in the long run, it will also undoubtedly reduce the number of crimes and improved quality of the new generations in our society. As a contradict of sorts, it is the improvement of social interest that ultimately that makes the trend of people giving birth at a later age more advantageous than disadvantageous.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
observed that there is an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
at a
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later
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age
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
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society
. Although the rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
at an older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
will
greatly
broaden the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
difference in the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
force, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
also
mean that parents are more
financially
and mentally prepared for the arrival of the toddler, leading to fewer problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which will
significantly
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are greater than the disadvantage caused by it.

The greatest benefits of having kids at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
stage of one's life cycle are that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that lacks parental care. When parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at this stage of life, most of them
are prepared
for it, in terms of
financially
and mentally. They can provide decent care for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and foster appropriate personal development. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from participating in crimes,
for instance
, joining gangs and committing burglary. In result, the crime rate could
be diminished
and enhancing the welfare of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole.

The major downfall of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is that there would be
After ‘a’, do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of ‘diminish’ is correct. If ‘diminish’ is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a diminish
in the economic output of the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
force. Since the working population will be into two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘group’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “groups”.
group
and leading to greater conflict between the two. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
than the past, new
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
force will enter the market much sooner than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Eventually
, it will
be separated
into two major groups. Due to the difference in culture and norms,
for example
, work attitude and ethics, conflicts will become more serious. This damage the cohesiveness of workforce
tremendously
in the long run and
therefore
reducing the economic performance.

It is unarguable that citizens are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in the present world. While this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
may lead to unsatisfactory economic performance, in the long run, it will
also
undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of crimes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
quality of the new generations in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. As
After ‘a’, do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of ‘contradict’ is correct. If ‘contradict’ is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a contradict
of sorts, it is the improvement of social interest that
ultimately
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
more advantageous than disadvantageous.
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IELTS essay More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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