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More people are having a cosmetic surgery. Why is the case? IS it positive or negative development?

More people are having a cosmetic surgery. Why is the case? IS it positive or negative development? 26R6M
It is acknowledged that the modern technology is enhancing in many fields, including a plastic surgery. Due to this development, a plethora of individuals are changing their external appearances. In my opinion, we may count 2 main factors why it is occurring and in this essay it will be exposed why I firmly believe it is a positive development. Firstly, squandering to be glamorous seems to be one of the pressuring reasons which could explain the cosmetic surgery is being opted by people. They assume that if they had stunningly beautiful face, they might be social media stars. For instance, South Korean actor Lee Min Ho became prestigious after undergoing rhinoplasty. As a consequence, he is not only outstanding in Asia, but he also has followers, specters around the world. Secondly, having operation could cure some facial deformity namely, scars after burn or acid attacks. Although encountering skin cancers could be inevitable, isolated, unordinary looking people such as suffering from leprosy will be able to join in community. Unless plastic surgery gives brand new life in terms of sociable which is further from alone life style for people, it can make sense that it is beneficial for society. Moreover, this advancement can lead to have a large amount of audience. Even though it is artificial beauty, people might live satisfied as well enjoy life owing to they feel that they are crucial. In conclusion, in order to treat and to have attractive appearance the plastic surgery is used mostly by individuals. Hence, the cosmetic surgery can bring frame and give a chance to bond relationships with others for unusual patients.
It
is acknowledged
that the modern technology is enhancing in
many
fields, including a plastic surgery. Due to this development, a plethora of individuals are changing their external appearances. In my opinion, we may count 2 main factors why it is occurring and in this essay it will
be exposed
why I
firmly
believe it is a
positive
development.

Firstly
, squandering to be glamorous seems to be one of the pressuring reasons which could
explain
the cosmetic surgery is
being opted
by
people
. They assume that if they had
stunningly
beautiful
face, they might be social media stars.
For instance
, South Korean actor Lee Min Ho became prestigious after undergoing rhinoplasty. As a consequence, he is not
only
outstanding in Asia,
but
he
also
has followers, specters around the world.
Secondly
, having operation could cure
some
facial deformity
namely
, scars after burn or acid attacks.

Although encountering skin cancers could be inevitable, isolated,
unordinary
looking
people
such as suffering from leprosy will be able to
join
in community. Unless plastic surgery gives
brand new
life in terms of sociable which is
further
from alone life style for
people
, it can
make
sense that it is beneficial for society.
Moreover
, this advancement can lead to have a large amount of audience.
Even though
it is artificial beauty,
people
might
live
satisfied
as well
enjoy life owing to they feel that they are crucial.

In conclusion
, in order to treat and to have attractive appearance the plastic surgery is
used
mostly
by individuals.
Hence
, the cosmetic surgery can bring frame and give a chance to bond relationships with others for unusual patients.
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IELTS essay More people are having a cosmetic surgery. Why is the case? IS it positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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