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More people are able to travel for work and tourism than in the past. Some people think this has had a positive impact. Others worry about the negative effects this is having on the environment and the harm this will cause individual cultures. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More people are able to travel for work and tourism than in the past. Some people think this has had a positive impact. Others worry about the negative effects this is having on the environment and the harm this will cause individual cultures. neGjP
Nowadays, more and more people have chance to travel for work and tourism than in the past. This has both advantage and disadvantage. In my view I think this increase has more good points than bad points. First is the drawbacks, when the number of tourists rises, it can effect badly on the environment such as: air pollution, water pollution, . . . The more the tourists visit a place the more polluted this place gets. Because of the bad habits and lack of knowledge about protecting environment of these visiter. And there is another negative points is harming the culture. Some tourist can not understand the special culture of the country or the place that they come, and they might do something that harms it and make the people living in this place angry of feel bad. Although some drawback, there is still more positive that this increase brings. Fristly, the development of tourism can bring a lot of money for the country or the place, it will directly effect the economy. Secondly, it will help the people who live around the neiborhood have more chance to find the job concern about traveling. Last but not least, when a lot of people have ability to travel, it means they have an enough life, the more people can travel the more quality of the life can improve. In conclusion, more people are able to travel for work and tourism than in the past is a good thing. In spite of having some negative effects, it still brinsg more advantage for a lot of people
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for work and tourism than in the past. This has both advantage and disadvantage. In my view I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this increase has more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
points.

First
is the drawbacks, when the number of tourists rises, it can effect
badly
on the environment such as: air pollution, water pollution
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, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
The more the tourists visit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
the more polluted this
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place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and lack of knowledge about protecting environment of
Did you mean "this visiter" or "these visiters"?
these visiter
. And there is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points is harming the culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
tourist can not understand the special culture of the country or the
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place
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, and they might do something that harms it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
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people
living in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
angry of feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback, there is
still
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
that this increase brings.
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Fristly
, the development of tourism can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for the country or the
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place
, it will
directly
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
the economy.
Secondly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
around the
Possible spelling mistake found.
neiborhood
have more chance to find the job concern about traveling. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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people
have ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, it means they have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
life, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
the more quality of the life can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

In conclusion
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for work and tourism than in the past is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, it
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
brinsg
more advantage for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people
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IELTS essay More people are able to travel for work and tourism than in the past. Some people think this has had a positive impact. Others worry about the negative effects this is having on the environment and the harm this will cause individual cultures.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • More people are able to travel for work and tourism than in the past. Some people think this has had a positive impact. Others worry about the negative effects this is having on the environment and the harm this will cause individual cultures. Discuss both views and give your opinion.