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more important to focus on national or international views

more important to focus on national or international views nXR6K
Everyone agrees that being updated with news is very important. There are some people who focus on news of their country and some believe in focusing on international news. In my opinion, it is good to be informed about the events occurring all over the world, but it more important to focus on the news on your country. To begin with, it is important to keep oneself updated regarding the economy, population, prices of daily products. Secondly, law is different in all countries therefore it is important to be aware about the law incase of emergency or accidents. Thirdly, it is important to stay updated on political news of their country as it will decide the growth of the country for next 5 to 7 years. To illustrate, the news about speedy vaccinations for covid-19 is great news for Indians. On the other hand, international news are related to topics such as borders, flights, satellite launch, nuclear weapons testing. Moreover, these are the news which will inform about the relations between two countries and are more useful to the government or army officers or people who plan to travel abroad. To quote an epitome, the recent news of Taliban taking Afghanistan had many effects internationally. All in all, as I mentioned earlier, it is more important to have a regular check at national news and it is recommended that, people should keep themselves updated of both national and international news as both types have their importance and none can be neglected.
Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe in focusing on international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
be informed
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
occurring all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on your country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
oneself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updated
regarding the economy, population, prices of daily products.
Secondly
, law is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
therefore
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to be aware about the law
Did you mean "in case of"?
incase of
emergency or accidents.
Thirdly
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updated
on political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as it will decide the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
next
5 to 7 years. To illustrate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about speedy vaccinations for
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
is great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for Indians.

On the other hand
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are related
to topics such as borders, flights, satellite launch, nuclear weapons testing.
Moreover
, these are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which will inform about the relations between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and are more useful to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or army officers or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who plan to travel abroad. To quote an epitome, the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of Taliban taking Afghanistan had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects
internationally
.

All in all, as I mentioned earlier, it is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to have a regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
at national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and it
is recommended
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updated
of both national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as both types have their importance and none can
be neglected
.
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IELTS essay more important to focus on national or international views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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