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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.7

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 7
Around the globe, almost in every sphere of human activity the Internet is apparent, today considering the high level of media coverage. Although some argue that the Internet nowadays has been bringing bad effects to persons commonalty. It is disagree that people cannot live without network. The first thing that should be mentioned that no society in the world has ever developed without network. One specific example of this is that the Internet is considered a powerful means of communication, according to recent research. This clearly illustrates that people are able to send messages from long distance. Another example, in the society, people enjoy making online friends. Such as Facebook and Yahoo, they can use of the Internet. Furthermore another substantial argument in favour of network is extremely important in which people are able to provide much information with each other. Take bringing knowledge to people for instance. This example makes it clear that individuals know more about society. Additionally, in the society, through network, many children can make friends easily. The websites, create an online network which connects no matter where they are. So, people can learn sufficient information, lying within their society. In conclusion, taking these points into consideration after analysing impact of network on persons and community, I am in line to believe that most people think that network is unreachable for society. But, it is expected that there is much convenience of network. Because, the Internet is considered the source of information.
Around the globe, almost in every sphere of human activity the Internet is apparent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
considering the high level of media coverage.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that the Internet nowadays has been bringing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects to persons commonalty. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without network.

The
first
thing that should
be mentioned
that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in the world has ever developed without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
. One specific example of this is that the Internet
is considered
a powerful means of communication, according to recent research. This
clearly
illustrates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages from long distance. Another example, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy making online friends. Such as Facebook and Yahoo, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the Internet.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
another substantial argument in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to provide much information with each other. Take bringing knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for instance
. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that individuals know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Additionally
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends
easily
. The websites, create an online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
which connects no matter where they are.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn sufficient information, lying within their society.

In conclusion
, taking these points into consideration after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
on persons and community, I am in line to believe that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
is unreachable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that there is much convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, the Internet
is considered
the source of information.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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