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more cars in streets

more cars in streets donGr
Controversy exists over whether people will use care less than today. Whereas some may hold the opinion that people no longer employ their car to move to other places, other adhere an opposite direction. However, I would rather vote on the former point of view in that not only has technology changed people's life, but also people tend to a healthier life without cars. The first factor which is convincing enough to favor the former point of vie is that advancements in the technology have changed many aspects of life. It must be emphasized that the significant role of technology can never be neglected, because it has penetrated to every corner and every minute of citizens. With the advent of technology people no longer use cars to move from one location to another since new innovation has provided more convenient and comfortable vehicles which make a trip easy. Take airplane as an example to illustrate this point. Airplane is more efficient for passenger since it provided numerous facilities during trip all around the world. One can order delicious food and beverage from fly attendance or listen to music while there is no need to drive by himself. A further aspect which is worth to be mentioned here is that civilians need more healthy life than these days. What make a car more unsuitable are far more just rigors during driving, that is indeed emitting hazardous gases to atmosphere and creating some diseases. Cars pollute not only air, but also natural resources. Each person in the society needs a healthier life by removing car which is a conspicuous agent of mental and physical problems. A tangible example to illustrate this argument could be people suffering cancer and other uncured diseases. Pollution by cars will pave the road for cancer since polluted air and water have a number of carcinogens which make a serious danger to all citizens. All in all, taking into account all aforementioned factors we safely arrive at the conclusion that in twenty years less cars will be on the streets because healthier life is suitable option for people and technology will provide more convenient vehicles to use. It is high time we stopped overlooking the fact that within two decades cars will be less effective than today.
Controversy exists over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
care less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer employ their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other places, other adhere an opposite direction.
However
, I would
rather
vote on the former point of view in that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without cars.

The
first
factor which is convincing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to favor the former point of vie is that advancements in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be emphasized
that the significant role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can never
be neglected
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has penetrated to every corner and every minute of citizens. With the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one location to another since new innovation has provided more convenient and comfortable vehicles which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a trip easy. Take airplane as an example to illustrate this point. Airplane is more efficient for passenger since it provided numerous facilities during trip all around the world. One can order delicious food and beverage from
fly
attendance or listen to music while there is no need to drive by himself.

A
further
aspect which is worth to
be mentioned
Did you mean "here are that civilians"?
here is that civilians
need more healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than these days. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
more unsuitable are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
rigors during driving,
that is
indeed
emitting hazardous gases to atmosphere and creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
pollute not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
air,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
natural resources. Each person in the society needs a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by removing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
which is a conspicuous agent of mental and physical problems. A tangible example to illustrate this argument could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering cancer and other uncured diseases. Pollution by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will pave the road for cancer since polluted air and water have a number of carcinogens which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to all citizens.

All in all, taking into account all aforementioned factors we
safely
arrive at the conclusion that in twenty years less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will be on the streets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is suitable option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will provide more convenient vehicles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. It is high time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
overlooking the fact that within two decades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will be less effective than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

IELTS essay more cars in streets

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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