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take a job opportunity or wait

take a job opportunity or wait RNnOW
Controvey exists over whether people should select any career is proposed to them right away than wait for ter proposed a favorable job in future. Whereas some may hold the opinion that choosing a job at the first time is wise decision, while others adhere an opposite direction. However, I would rather to voteon the later point of view in that not only does technology provide more pleasant career, but also by empowering knowledge people have more job opportunities than past. The first factor which is convincing enough to favor the later point of view is that technology in these days has created numerous jobs for all people. In fact, it is must be emphasized that significant role of technology can never be neglected, since it has penetrated to every minute and every corner of human' life. Technology has a splindid role to make jobs regarding to human's needs which people no longer need to work in boring and unfavorabel job. Take a a company which provides diverse services in the Internet field as an example. This company needs a lot of people to worl in different sectors with different personality and academic level. One working in this company is able to accomplish numerous task regarding to the wireless, reparation of labtop, computers, hence he never needs to get a job opportunity even it is secure. A further aspect which is worth to be mentioned here is that knowledgable' people are more than past. It is not irrational that academic level provides more job opportunities for people. Indeed, after graduation from academic organization and the university, a student is proposed various careers in his specific field because he is able to work with private comapanies, since he is professional in some skills both practically and theorically. A very tabgible example to illustrate this argument could be a engineer who has professional skills in business mark. He has equiped with highly effective techniques to find job and to increas money from potential customers, therefore he does not need any secure job becasue he is able to establish his own business and compete with numerous invividulas and companies in the world. As a result he never accepts a job secure since he can work on his favorable jon and be successful to improve his economic comdition. Taking into account all aforementioned factors we safely arrive at the conclusion that nowdays people no longer take a secure jon when it is proposed to them because with advent of technology many careers are made for individuals and academic level of new generation helps them to work in a favorable job. It is high time we stopped the fact overlooking that get a secure job right away is not only option for people.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Controvey
exists over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should select any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proposed
to them right
Use "(away)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
away
than wait for
Possible spelling mistake found.
ter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proposed
a favorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may hold the opinion that choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at the
first
time is wise decision, while others adhere an opposite direction.
However
, I would
rather
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
voteon
the later point of view in that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provide more pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by empowering knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities than past.

The
first
factor which is convincing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to favor the later point of view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in these days has created numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In fact, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be emphasized
that significant role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can never
be neglected
, since it has penetrated to every minute and every corner of human' life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
splindid
role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in boring and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfavorabel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Take
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "a" is left.
a a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which provides diverse services in the Internet field as an example. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
worl
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
level. One working in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is able to accomplish numerous task
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the wireless, reparation of
Possible spelling mistake found.
labtop
, computers,
hence
he never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity even it is secure.

A
further
aspect which is worth to
be mentioned
here is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledgable
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more than past. It is not irrational that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
level provides more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Indeed
, after graduation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
organization and the university, a student is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proposed
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
in his specific field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with private
Possible spelling mistake found.
comapanies
, since he is professional in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
both
practically
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
theorically
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
tabgible
example to illustrate this argument could be
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
engineer who has professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in business mark. He has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "equipped", the past tense form of the verb 'equip'?
equiped
with
highly
effective techniques to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and to
Possible spelling mistake found.
increas
money from potential customers,
therefore
he does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
he is able to establish his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and compete with numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
invividulas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the world.
As a result
he never accepts a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
since he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on his favorable
Possible spelling mistake found.
jon
and be successful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his economic
Possible spelling mistake found.
comdition
.

Taking into account all aforementioned factors we
safely
arrive at the conclusion that
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
Possible spelling mistake found.
jon
when it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proposed
to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
are made
for individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
level of new generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a favorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is high time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
the fact overlooking that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
right away is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.

IELTS essay take a job opportunity or wait

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
458 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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