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More and number of people beginning to realize that boys and girls should have separate schools for education. v.1

More and number of people beginning to realize that boys and girls should have separate schools for education. v. 1
More and number of people beginning to realize that boys and girls should have separate schools for education. I strongly disagree with the above statement, as both the methods of teaching has equal and opposite importance, depending upon many social factors. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of coeducation and disintegrated schools and will express my viewpoint with relevant examples. Firstly, the basic motive of integrated schools is not to show any gender biased discrimination while providing education. Secondly, boys and girls learn about how to respect each other and will have equal rights and positions in society. For instance, mixed education systems conduct a lot of extra-curricular activities to prove that boys and girls have the same potential to accomplish tasks. Even though mixed schools allow boys and girls to understand and respect each other, some student’s sill shows discrimination on girls. On the other hand, same sex schools have their own merits. These schools help the teachers to focus more on students with new methodologies based on the gender. For instance, a research from Oxford University shows that girls perform better in mathematics, if they get lessons through real life situations. Another benefit is that teachers do not hesitate to discuss the gender specific topic while teaching. Therefore, same sex schools open a channel for teachers to widen their teaching skills and give liberty to discuss the study materials. In conclusion, both types of schools have their own merits. I personally feel that co-ed schools are more beneficial because they enable boys and girls to work together in different situations. This helps them to grow in their future profession or careers.
More and number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
beginning to realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should have separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for education. I
strongly
disagree with the above statement, as both the methods of teaching has equal and opposite importance, depending upon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social factors. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of coeducation and disintegrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and will express my viewpoint with relevant examples.

Firstly
, the basic motive of integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
any gender biased discrimination while providing education.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
learn about how to respect each other and will have equal rights and positions in society.
For instance
, mixed education systems conduct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
extra-curricular activities to prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
have the same potential to accomplish tasks.
Even though
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
to understand and respect each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
student’s sill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
discrimination on girls.

On the other hand
, same sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the teachers to focus more on students with new methodologies based on the gender.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
from Oxford University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
perform
Use "good at" to mean "skilled" with school subjects. Try this: "better at mathematics".
better in mathematics
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lessons through real life situations. Another benefit is that teachers do not hesitate to discuss the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
gender specific
topic while teaching.
Therefore
, same sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
open a channel for teachers to widen their teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and give liberty to discuss the study materials.

In conclusion
, both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits. I
personally
feel that co-ed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
to work together in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to grow in their future profession or careers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and number of people beginning to realize that boys and girls should have separate schools for education. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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