Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more young people play games on social media. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Should these games be banned?

More and more young people play games on social media. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Should these games be banned? 6N2JB
Nowaday, technology is evolving day by day all over the world and with it, young people play games on social media more and more. We cannot deny how its benefits bring to our life, but for me, the disadvantages of this have negative effects on young people and we need to control this problem by considering and banning some games. First, there are many merits of playing games on social media. We can play the games that we like anywhere and anytime. It is very convenient and it helps us blow our minds in a quick way. Next, we can have several games, a variety of choices on how to play games or we can play with our friends or anyone that we do not need to meet them. By the way, playing games on social media is a convenient way for us to relax. Along with the benefits, there are many noticeable detrimental effects. Playing games without selection will lead to many harms. Many young people tend to be violent or even suicide after playing games with violent images. If they play games too much, they will become addicted, which may cause them to do something wrong to get the games. In some cases, playing games is no longer entertainment but becomes a very harmful thing. Therefore, we need to control, review and ban some inappropriate games. In conclusion, more and more young people play games on social media in the age of new technology and in my opinion, its advantages are outweighed by its disadvantages. To control this problem, we need to have a process to censor and ban some games that have negative effects.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowaday
, technology is evolving day by day all over the world and with it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
more and more. We cannot deny how its benefits bring to our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for me, the disadvantages of this have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to control this problem by considering and banning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
games.

First
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. We can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that we like anywhere and anytime. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us blow our minds
Consider replacing "in a quick way" with the adverb for "quick"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a quick way
.
Next
, we can have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, a variety of choices on how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games or
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with our friends or anyone that we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them. By the way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a convenient way for us to relax.

Along with the benefits, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
noticeable detrimental effects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
without selection will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be violent or even suicide after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with violent images. If they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
too much, they will become addicted, which may cause them to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is no longer entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
becomes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful thing.
Therefore
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to control, review and ban
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inappropriate games.

In conclusion
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in the age of new technology and in my opinion, its advantages
are outweighed
by its disadvantages. To control this problem, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have a process to censor and ban
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay More and more young people play games on social media. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Should these games be banned?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts