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What happens when children make activities that they dislike?

What happens when children make activities that they dislike? jolNX
In this essay I will talk about how young children feel when their parents force them to do activities that they dislike, I will explain a little about how they thought before, also about some traditions that Mexico has and how doing activities that they do not want to do can affect them. This way of learning that parents believe is good, is an obstruction for children to do what they really enjoy and also prevents them from developing their skills. Over the years, the way in which minors were educated has changed, in previous years parents made the young work in order to bring food home or to help in general expenses at home, It was common because few years ago there were large families, and sometimes with the parent's income there was not enough money to cover the expenses or most of the times either the mother or father became widowed with no alternative but to make their children's work or sometimes to take care of the housework but, it only happened to women. Talking of families that were lucky and were wealthy they could complete their education, but the one that was given to women differed from the one given to men, women received the simple concepts that they needed to know, because women were prepared only for housework Before the culture became male chauvinist, 90% of the women were despised by men. According to a survey women could study but they preferred to focus on housekeeping, they taught them how to cook, knit, clean, etc; but the 75% had the opportunity to finish their studies. In the past, parents were very strict regarding their schedules, the type of language, the traditions, the communication, daddies, forced their children to attend mass daily, pray the rosary among others, it was good since they brought them closer to their religion, and nowadays there are families that continue to comply those traditions, but there are others who do not. That is when another problem comes, this is when parents force children to work. Child labor, is when parents make their children work to earn more money, this is a very worrin situation because children should study and beach and they should not be deprived of the freedom they deserve. There are 2. 5 million children under 15 who are working in Mexico, children feel pushed, and unhappy as they see themselves utilized. Many times it is due to the need in the family, but it is not the obligation of the minors to be responsible for expenses. Children who are obligated to work by parents do not have the opportunity to develop and finish their studies, so parents must become aware that this is not a way of learning, it is a form of obstruction to grow and be happy. In conclusion forcing minors to work or taking care of their home is not a correct way of learning, it is fine for them to learn but, not avoid studying, it is an obstacle that prevents them from developing and living a Happy life.
In this essay I will talk about how young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
force them to do activities that they dislike, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
about how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
also
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditions that Mexico has and how doing activities that they do not want to do can affect them. This way of learning that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, is an obstruction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do what they
really
enjoy and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from developing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Over the years, the way in which minors
were educated
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, in previous years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
made the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to bring food home or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in general
expenses at home, It was common
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
few years ago there were large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
with the parent's income there was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to cover the expenses or
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
either the mother or father became widowed with no alternative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to take care of the housework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happened to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Talking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that were lucky and were wealthy they could complete their education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the one that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
differed from the one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
received the simple concepts that they needed to know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were prepared
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
housework


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the culture became male chauvinist, 90% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were despised
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. According to a survey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they preferred to focus on housekeeping, they taught them how to cook, knit, clean, etc;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the 75% had the opportunity to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict regarding their schedules, the type of language, the traditions, the communication, daddies, forced their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend mass daily, pray the rosary among others, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
since they brought them closer to their religion, and nowadays there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that continue to comply those traditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are others who do not.
That is
when another problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, this is when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to work.

Child labor, is when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to earn more money, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
worrin
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
beach and
they should not
be deprived
of the freedom they deserve. There are 2. 5 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under 15 who are working in Mexico,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel pushed, and unhappy as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
themselves utilized.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times it is due to the need in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the obligation of the minors to be responsible for expenses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who
are obligated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not have the opportunity to develop and finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
become aware that this is not a way of learning, it is a form of obstruction to grow and be happy.

In conclusion
forcing minors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or taking care of their home is not a correct way of learning, it is fine for them to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, not avoid studying, it is an obstacle that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from developing and living a Happy life.
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IELTS essay What happens when children make activities that they dislike?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
514 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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