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Paragraph describing hair

Paragraph describing hair 537pQ
Her mother’s hair is cut to shoulder width and held in place with a light blue headband. Her mother’s hair is coarse and hard due to hard labor all year round. Her mother’s hair has become grayed over time, which has passed so quickly or due to the worries and sorrows her mother faced in life. Although my mother’s hair is not long, sleek, not black, shiny, not floating like other people, but that hair makes me admire and love my mother – a mother who always ends heart for family.
Her
mother’s
hair
is
cut
to shoulder width and held in place with a light blue headband. Her
mother’s
hair
is coarse and
hard
due to
hard
labor all year round.
Her
mother’s
hair
has become grayed over time, which has passed
so
quickly
or due to the worries and sorrows her
mother
faced in life. Although my
mother’s
hair
is not long, sleek, not black, shiny, not floating like other
people
,
but
that
hair
makes
me admire and
love
my
mother
a
mother
who always ends heart for family.
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IELTS essay Paragraph describing hair

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
91 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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