Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more young people have unsupervised access to the internet. What problems it can cause and how to solve this problem ?

More and more young people have unsupervised access to the internet. What problems it can cause and how to solve this problem? m3p9L
With the development of technology, the internet has become accessible in a non controllable manner for a growing number of youngsters. This situation can cause several complications including health hazards and probability of joining illegal groups. To cope with this situation young people should be restricted by limiting their time of use and engaging them into physical activities. The initial issue is that surfing in the internet regularly can effectuate different health problems. Particularly, this phenomenon induces vision decline amid tweens and teens. As a result, they have to wear glasses before not reaching mid 40s and 50s. It is obvious, more and more youngers correct this condition by having an eye surgeon. Furthermore, extensive using internet is not only getting worse eyesight but also lead to other ailments such as depression, sleep deprivation and ruining memory. The overuse of technology may be linked to anxiety, addiction and social isolation. Consequently, the aforementioned can impact on developing children and teenagers. Nevertheless, these drawbacks can be tackle by taking some possible measures. The first one is limiting the use of internet among children. Parents should monitor and replete childrens' time with various physical activities. As a consequence, they can not waste time for unnecessary social platforms, because of tiredness from exercising. In addition, the communication between parents and a child must be friendly enough that the child can easily tell parents of the issues and their problems. To sum up, although it is clear that unsupervised access causes major issues, it is possible to start tackle these matters and use the internet in a positive way. Parents must take control in dealing with this problem, otherwise a lot of youngers life will get destroyed.
With the development of technology, the internet has become accessible in a
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non controllable
manner for a growing number of youngsters. This situation can cause several complications including health hazards and probability of joining illegal groups. To cope with this situation young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be restricted
by limiting their time of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and engaging them into physical activities. The initial issue is that surfing
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
regularly
can effectuate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health problems.
Particularly
, this phenomenon induces vision decline amid
Possible spelling mistake found.
tweens
and teens.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear glasses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
not reaching mid 40s and 50s. It is obvious, more and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
correct this condition by having an eye surgeon.
Furthermore
, extensive using internet is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting worse eyesight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lead to other ailments such as depression, sleep deprivation and ruining memory. The overuse of technology may
be linked
to anxiety, addiction and social isolation.
Consequently
, the aforementioned can impact on developing children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Nevertheless
, these drawbacks can be tackle by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible measures. The
first
one is limiting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet among children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should monitor and replete
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
' time with various physical activities. As a consequence, they can not waste time for unnecessary social platforms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of tiredness from exercising.
In addition
, the communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be friendly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
that the child can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of the issues and their problems. To sum up, although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that unsupervised access causes major issues, it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
tackle these matters and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take control in dealing with this problem,
otherwise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
life will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay More and more young people have unsupervised access to the internet. What problems it can cause and how to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    introduce your classmates
    There are 50 students in my class. My monitor’s name is Khanh Linh. She has short hair and she’s very friendly. My vice monitor is an outgoing person, his name is Dat, he always has an optimistic view on life, it makes him happy all the time. Duong and Quyen are my best friends. Duong is an interest...
  • 5band
    Many people prefer to spend the money they get rather than save it for their future. What are the reasons? Is this positive or negative development?
    Money plays vital role in everyone's life. So, most of the individual feel that it is better to spend money on distinct things instead of saving it for upcoming day's. There are are numerous reasons behind this problem. In my perspective it a negative development and i will discuss it in the followi...
  • 5.5band
    The cost of prohibition: On spurt in hooch tragedies
    The deaths in the last few days of at least 25 people in Bihar’s Gopalganj and West Champaran districts and five in Muzaffarpur apart from several others taking ill after consuming spurious liquor points to the unintended but not unexpected consequences of the total prohibition law that has been in ...
  • 5.5band
    write about vinmart you know
    Well, I’m not a shopaholic, so there´s no particular shop that has made a special impression on me. There’s only one exception – that’s a shop called Vinmart +, which is opened in my hometown two months ago. The shop is located at one of the prime spots for retailing. It is located right beside my ...
  • 5band
    Internet controlling internet
    It is argued that internet should be controlled by government. This essay will agree with the latter opinion, because the reasons are as manifold as they're obvious. I strongly believe that government should control internet as nowadays, it became a complex world trimmed with interactions. Firstly,...
  • 6band
    appearance isn't everything. discuss
    It is true that appearance does not suffice everything however it is an individual’s inner beauty that counts. You will see a number of magazine and TV programs touting about this particular issue still outer appearance is given more weight age. Ironically, society acknowledges how superficial it i...