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Many people prefer to spend the money they get rather than save it for their future. What are the reasons? Is this positive or negative development?

Many people prefer to spend the money they get rather than save it for their future. What are the reasons? Is this positive or negative development? 9wnlp
Money plays vital role in everyone's life. So, most of the individual feel that it is better to spend money on distinct things instead of saving it for upcoming day's. There are are numerous reasons behind this problem. In my perspective it a negative development and i will discuss it in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are many reasons that why many people are in favour to spend money. First and foremost, some people face such circumstances in which they can not save money, Whether if they want. For instance, if a person suffer from a disease, so his lot's of money utilize on it, as a result they unable to save their money for future. Moreover, few mortals are just believe in spending money on their day to day life, not in savings. However, this has detrimental impacts on humans lives, as if they will not preserve their capital for future then they can face big problem in their emergency time. The people those who not saves money, they will be usable to help themselves when they will suffering from any kind problem. For example, during Corona pandemic everyone was at home and some individuals also lost their jobs, so at that time they use their money which they saved in their banks. To conclude, although most of the mortals do not believe in saving money, but it is necessary for them, to make theirs lives easier in any issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
plays vital role in everyone's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, most of the individual feel that it is better to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on distinct things
instead
of saving it for upcoming day's. There
Possible typo: you repeated a word
are are
numerous reasons behind this problem. In my perspective
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss it in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face such circumstances in which they can not save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, Whether if they want.
For instance
, if a person suffer from a disease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
his
Did you mean "lots"?
lot's
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
utilize on it,
as a result
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
unable to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for future.
Moreover
, few mortals are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
believe in spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life, not in savings.

However
, this has detrimental impacts on humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, as if they will not preserve their capital for future then they can face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in their emergency time. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
those who not saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they will be usable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves when they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "suffer"
suffering
from any kind problem.
For example
, during Corona pandemic everyone was at home and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
also
lost their jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at that time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which they saved in their banks.

To conclude
, although most of the mortals do not believe in saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is necessary for them, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
theirs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier in any issue.
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IELTS essay Many people prefer to spend the money they get rather than save it for their future. What are the reasons? Is this positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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