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More and more young people are choosing art and history instead of science as their majors. What are the causes of this? And what should schools do to encourage students take up science?

More and more young people are choosing art and history instead of science as their majors. What are the causes of this? And what should schools do to encourage students take up science? Apb0n
Our world depends on science to invent new technologies and offer solutions to some problems. However, nowadays too few students are choosing science as their majors. Many students prefer to take up art or history rather than science. This essay will analyze the cause and provide some ways to tackle this problem. There are several contributing factors which made many students not choose science. Firstly, from school years science has considered as a tough subject. Many pupils have problems with this subject and they try to avoid it because of the difficulties. Secondly, in many schools art and history taught to students with interesting ways. Which makes it feel easier than other subjects. Usually that is why students have positive opinions about art and history and they like these subjects. Thirdly, as we all know not all schools have special classrooms and sufficient equipments for science. Because of this problem pupils can not get enough knowledge and all they have to do it is just sit in the classroom and learn formulas, which makes subjects more disinteresting. However, several feasible actions could be suggested to deal with this issue. First of all, schools should hire more subject specialists who can teach themes with easiest ways and who can give feedback quickly. Have a good teacher is very important. Because tutors have a enormous impact on pupils education and progress in life. Secondly, change students opinion about science to a good way. Teachers should attract apprentices to subject. For example by making competitions with prizes or playing different science related games. Thirdly government should provide science classrooms and supply schools with equipments. Because making new experiments and work with chemicals more interesting than just learning formulas. Also special atmosphere of classrooms can influence on pupil's work. To sum up, nowadays many students opt for art and history and very little quantity of students choosing science. To cope with this problem school should should have a subject specialists. Also government should supply schools with equipments and provide science classrooms.
Our world depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to invent new technologies and offer solutions to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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problems
.
However
, nowadays too few
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students
are choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as their majors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. This essay will analyze the cause and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to tackle this problem.

There are several contributing factors which made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Firstly
, from
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school
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has considered as a tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
pupils have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subject and
they try to avoid it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the difficulties.
Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
taught to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it feel easier than other
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subjects
.
Usually
that is
why
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students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
opinions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
history and
they like these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Thirdly
, as we all know not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have special classrooms and sufficient equipments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
pupils can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge and all they
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have to
do it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit in the classroom and learn formulas, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
disinteresting
.

However
, several feasible actions could
be suggested
to deal with this issue.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should hire more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
specialists who can teach themes with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the easiest".
easiest
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ways
and who can give feedback
quickly
. Have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teacher is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
tutors have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
enormous impact on pupils education and progress in life.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opinion about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
. Teachers should attract apprentices to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
For example
by making competitions with prizes or playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
related games.
Thirdly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
classrooms and supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with equipments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
making new experiments and work with chemicals more interesting than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learning formulas.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
special atmosphere of classrooms can influence on pupil's work.

To sum up, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. To cope with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible typo: you repeated a word
should should
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "specialist"?
specialists
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with equipments and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
classrooms.

IELTS essay More and more young people are choosing art and history instead of science as their majors. What are the causes of this? And what should schools do to encourage students take up science?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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