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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? T1

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? T1 3rOn
A lot of wild animals are disappearing and others being added to the list of rare animals. Two main causes such as abundance of hunters, ignoring animals and solutions including keeping hunt balance, taking care of animals will be discussed in this essay. Nowadays, wild animals are considered to be disappearing and endangering. In fact, I believe that a lot of hunters and neglecting animals are the most common causes of this problem because a lot of animals are being hunted in order to get meat, wool and others. For example, scientists found that 25% of animals are endangering per year. For these reasons above if people do not take care of animals and keep hunt balance, animals may come across strong perils. At this time, being suggested of reducing number of hunters and keeping animals mitigate this issue. The reason is that these solutions cause to save wild animals. If we reduce the balance of hunting we may save the animals. For example, a number of animals are being saved in preserves in order to reduce extinction of the creatures. If these methods are used they may give benefits to nature. Life of creatures are damaging as a result of killing the animals. This essay discussed two main causes such as increasing the hunt balance and ignoring animals. Also, i suggested two main denouements including reducing number of hunters and not neglecting creatures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are disappearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the list of rare animals.

Two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
such as abundance of hunters, ignoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and solutions including keeping hunt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
, taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will
be discussed
in this essay.

Nowadays, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are considered
to be disappearing and endangering. In fact, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
hunters and neglecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being hunted
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
meat, wool
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
For example
, scientists found that 25% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are endangering per year. For these reasons above if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
hunt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across strong perils. At this time,
being suggested
of reducing number of hunters and keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
mitigate this issue. The reason is that these solutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
Did you mean "saving"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to save
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
of hunting we may save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being saved
in preserves in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
extinction of the creatures.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
these methods are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
they may give benefits to nature. Life of creatures are damaging
as a result
of killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This essay discussed two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
such as increasing the hunt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
and ignoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Also
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
suggested two main
'denouements' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "dénouements"
denouements
including reducing number of hunters and not neglecting creatures.

IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? T1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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