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more and more wild animals are on the verge of extinciton and others are on the endangered list. what are the reasons for this? what can be done to solve this problem?

more and more wild animals are on the verge of extinciton and others are on the endangered list. what are the reasons for this? what can be done to solve this problem? n6NpP
Nowdays, the number of animals who live in the wild jungle are endangered and some of animals are in hazard. This essay will explain about the causes and solution for this worst condition. There are threat that cause wild animals can vanish. First, there is a group of hunter who are chase and kill the wild animals. Moreover, Their aims of hunting animals are for collection or commerce. The other causes from this condition is unveiling the forest with burning and felling the trees. The purpose of this activity is providing a large amount of land for an industry or dwelling for human. It will cause the animals loss their authentic habitat and they cannot continue theirs life. The solutions of this problems divide into two solutions. First, making a tight protection in some forest which a threatened animals live there, for instance, putting some hidden CCTV and patrolling the forest every hour to supervise the condition in the jungle. The second solution is imitating a real forest for substitute wild animals habitat and to conserve the endangered animals from the hunter. It will help the animals getting their habitat again and they can continue their live. To summarize, numerous wild animals is threatened. The hunting and opening of the forest are the reason for extinction of wild animals. The prevention that helping solve this problem are install the close CCTV, safeguarding and make an copy forest for their new habitat.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the wild jungle
are endangered
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are in hazard. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for this worst condition.

There are threat that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can vanish.
First
, there is a group of hunter who are chase and kill the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Moreover
, Their aims of hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are for collection or commerce. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
from this condition is unveiling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
with burning and felling the trees. The purpose of this activity is providing a large amount of land for an industry or dwelling for human. It will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "animals'" or "animal's"?
animals
loss their authentic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
habitat and
they cannot continue theirs life.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems divide into two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
.
First
, making a tight protection in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
which a threatened
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "animal"?
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there,
for instance
, putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hidden CCTV and patrolling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
every hour to supervise the condition in the jungle. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is imitating a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
for substitute wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
and to conserve the endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from the hunter. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
getting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
again and
they can continue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

To summarize
, numerous wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is threatened
. The hunting and opening of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
are the reason for extinction of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The prevention that helping solve this problem are
Consider using a past participle here: "installed".
install
the close CCTV, safeguarding and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
for their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
.
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IELTS essay more and more wild animals are on the verge of extinciton and others are on the endangered list. what are the reasons for this? what can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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