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More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v.7

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 7
In recent years, studying overseas has gained more popularity than before. While there are many benefits to attending universities in a foreign country, there are also some drawbacks to consider. In the following essay, I will explore both the benefits and the drawbacks of studying abroad. On the one hand, one of the main problems of studying overseas is the feeling of homesickness. Many students who travel abroad feel lonely as a result of being away from their homeland. To illustrate this, they feel insecure because they miss their family members and friends. Moreover, many of them cannot afford the standard of living in the host country. For instance, they must pay for their accommodation, bills and for their basic needs (food, drinks and clothing). As a result, living in a different country can be challenging for many reasons such as homesickness and the high cost of living. On the other hand, one of the most significant benefits of studying overseas is having a good job. In particular, most graduates, who got their degrees from a prestigious university, are highly hired by most employers. Most firms tend to recruit overseas students for the fine quality of education they gained. Furthermore, living in a different community exposes students to a diversity of cultures and traditions. For example, having such an exposure can lead to broadening students’ minds. Evidently, Overseas students are better at solving problems in the workplace than their peers graduated from local university. Hence, students are privileged with having the priority of recruiting and their solving-problem abilities. To conclude, although studyies in a foreign country can be expensive and cause homesickness as well, it provides students with qualifications that can help them compete in the workplace. In my opinion, the benefits of studying abroad outweigh its drawbacks, and I would prefer to attend an overseas university rather than a local one.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
has gained more popularity than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to consider. In the following essay, I will explore both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad.

On the one hand, one of the main problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
is the feeling of homesickness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who travel abroad feel lonely
as a result
of being away from their homeland. To illustrate this, they feel insecure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they miss their family members and friends.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them cannot afford the standard of living in the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay for their accommodation, bills and for their basic needs (food, drinks and clothing).
As a result
, living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can be challenging for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons such as homesickness and the high cost of living.

On the other hand
, one of the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
is having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
In particular
, most graduates, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their degrees from a prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, are
highly
hired by most employers. Most firms tend to recruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the fine quality of education they gained.
Furthermore
, living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
community exposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to a diversity of cultures and traditions.
For example
, having such an exposure can lead to broadening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
minds.
Evidently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are better at solving problems in the workplace than their peers graduated from local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are privileged
with having the priority of recruiting and their solving-problem abilities.

To conclude
, although
Possible spelling mistake found.
studyies
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can be expensive and cause homesickness
as well
, it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with qualifications that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them compete in the workplace. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad outweigh its drawbacks, and I would prefer to attend an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
rather
than a local one.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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