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More And More People Want To Buy Famous Brands Of Clothes, Cars And Other Items. What Are The Reasons? Do You Think It Is A Positive Or Negative Development?

More And More People Want To Buy Famous Brands Of Clothes, Cars And Other Items. What Are The Reasons? Do You Think It Is A Positive Or Negative Development? KWVrL
NOWADAYS, MANY OF THE INDIVIDUALS ARE WILLING TO PURCHASE THE PRESTIGIOUS BRANDS OF BODYWEARS, AUTOMOBILES AND MANY OTHER THINGS. ACCORDING TO ME THIS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT AND THIS ESSAY WILL OUTLINE THE RATIONALES BEHIND IT. IN TODAY’S WORLD, PUBLIC IS TENDING TOWARD THE LUXURIOUS BRANDS AS THE REASON BEHINF IT CAN BE THE SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE DUE TO WHICH MOST OF THE YOUNGSTERS ARE BUYING THE FAMOUS BRNDS. TO EXPLAIN, FIRSTLY, THERE ARE MANY PERSONALITIES ON SOCIAL MEDIA WHO ARE FOLLOWED BY MILLON OF PEOPLE AND INDIVIDUALS COPY THEIR STYLE OF DRESSING. THEREFORE, THEY SPEND MORE ON THESE THINGS ALTHOUGH THE INFLUENCERS ARE PAID BY THE FAMOUS BRANDS TO PROMOTE THEIR PRODUCTS. FOR EXAMPLE “CRISTANO RONALDO” AN INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER IS THE BRAND AMBASSADOR OF NIKE FOR WHOM HE POST THE PHOTOS OF PRODUCTS SUCH AS SHOES, TROUSERS, SHIRTS FOR WHICH HE GET MONEY. HENCE THE FOLLOWERS COPY HIM AND SPEND ON THOSE BRANDS. SECONDLY, MODERNISM ALL OVER THE WORLD IS GROWING RAPIDLY AND PEOPLE, NOWADAYS, WANT MORE LUXURIOUS LIFESTYLES FOR WHICH THEY EXPEND THEIR MOST THE INCOME TO LIVE A COMFORTABLE LIFE FOR WHICH THEY PURCHASE EXPENSIVE CARS, CLOTHES. MOREOVER, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO BUY THINGS TO LOOK RICH AND TO COMPETE WITH POOR, BUT THIS RESULTS IN THE WEAK FINANCIAL CONDITIONS OF A INDIVIDUAL INSTEAD OF THIS, THEY SHOULD SAVE AND INVEST THE MONEY WHICH THEY SPEND ON FAMOUS BRANDS. TO CONCLUDE, IT IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT AND THERE ARE MANY REASONS AFFECTING IT OUT OF WHICH ARE SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE AND INTENTION TO LOOK RICH SO, I WOULD LIKE TO RECOMMEND THAT PEOPLE OUGHT TO INVEST OR SAVE THE MONEY WHICH THEY SPEND ON THE LUXURIOUS BRANDS.
NOWADAYS,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
OF THE INDIVIDUALS ARE WILLING TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PURCHASE
THE PRESTIGIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BRANDS
OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
BODYWEARS
, AUTOMOBILES AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
OTHER THINGS.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
ACCORDING TO ME
THIS A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
DEVELOPMENT AND THIS ESSAY WILL OUTLINE THE RATIONALES BEHIND IT.

IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
’S WORLD, PUBLIC IS TENDING TOWARD THE LUXURIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BRANDS
AS THE REASON
Possible spelling mistake found.
BEHINF
IT CAN BE THE SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE DUE TO WHICH MOST OF THE YOUNGSTERS ARE BUYING THE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAMOUS
Possible spelling mistake found.
BRNDS
. TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
,
FIRSTLY
, THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
PERSONALITIES ON SOCIAL MEDIA WHO
ARE FOLLOWED
BY
Possible spelling mistake found.
MILLON
OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
AND INDIVIDUALS COPY THEIR STYLE OF DRESSING.
THEREFORE
, THEY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
MORE ON THESE THINGS ALTHOUGH THE INFLUENCERS
ARE PAID
BY THE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAMOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BRANDS
TO PROMOTE THEIR PRODUCTS.
FOR EXAMPLE
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
CRISTANO
RONALDO” AN INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER IS THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BRAND
AMBASSADOR OF NIKE FOR WHOM HE
The pronoun 'HE' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "posts", "posted".
POST
THE PHOTOS OF PRODUCTS SUCH AS SHOES, TROUSERS, SHIRTS FOR WHICH HE
The pronoun 'HE' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
GET
MONEY.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
HENCE
THE FOLLOWERS COPY HIM AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
ON THOSE BRANDS.

SECONDLY
, MODERNISM ALL OVER THE WORLD IS GROWING
RAPIDLY
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
, NOWADAYS, WANT MORE LUXURIOUS LIFESTYLES FOR WHICH THEY EXPEND THEIR MOST THE INCOME TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
A COMFORTABLE LIFE FOR WHICH THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PURCHASE
EXPENSIVE CARS, CLOTHES.
MOREOVER
, THERE ARE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WHO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BUY
THINGS TO LOOK RICH AND TO COMPETE WITH POOR,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
THIS RESULTS IN THE WEAK FINANCIAL CONDITIONS OF A INDIVIDUAL
INSTEAD
OF THIS, THEY SHOULD SAVE AND INVEST THE MONEY WHICH THEY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
ON
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAMOUS
BRANDS.

TO CONCLUDE
, IT IS A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
DEVELOPMENT AND THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
REASONS AFFECTING IT OUT OF WHICH ARE SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE AND INTENTION TO LOOK RICH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
, I WOULD LIKE TO RECOMMEND THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
OUGHT TO INVEST OR SAVE THE MONEY WHICH THEY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
ON THE LUXURIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BRANDS
.
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IELTS essay More And More People Want To Buy Famous Brands Of Clothes, Cars And Other Items. What Are The Reasons? Do You Think It Is A Positive Or Negative Development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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