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A family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence outside the home plays a

A family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence outside the home plays a yN79E
In this contemporary era, it is always debated that who possessed the potential influence on children development. The experiences which a child witness in their peers plays major role in children's advancement rather than home. I firmly agree with this notion because of the reasons which I shall elucidate in the following paragraphs. In order to justify the viewpoint, it can be said that, although, parents teach their offspring about every aspects of life in a sophisticated way, nevertheless, the ability of facing the world and challenges in it can be mastery far from the residence. If a child merely depend on the family for any decision then they may get habituated to rely on their mentors. As a result, they lack in confidence and their mental development might get affected. Secondly, to strengthen the point of view furthermore, I would like to cite the example of how outside environment can have phenomenal impact on youngsters upbringing. When children’s witness outdoor reality then they can understand the different image of life where one has to face plethora of challenges and difficulties to accomplish something. Additionally, in the companionship of siblings and guardians, teenagers often get spoon feeding where as the circumstance is totally different outside. However, some people believe that any child can show incredible performance in their development with alone family influence, but on the other hand personally I think that when a child learn something from outside it will not only help them to face cruel world but also they develpe ability of neglecting negatve attitudes.
In this contemporary era, it is always debated that who possessed the potential influence on children development. The experiences which a
child
witness in their peers plays major role in children's advancement
rather
than home. I
firmly
agree
with this notion
because
of the reasons which I shall elucidate in the following paragraphs.

In order to justify the viewpoint, it can
be said
that, although, parents teach their offspring about every
aspects
of life
in a sophisticated way
,
nevertheless
, the ability of facing the world and challenges in it can be mastery far from the residence. If a
child
merely
depend on the family for any decision then they may
get
habituated to rely on their mentors.
As a result
, they lack in confidence and their mental development might
get
affected
.

Secondly
, to strengthen the point of view
furthermore
, I would like to cite the example of how outside environment can have phenomenal impact on
youngsters
upbringing. When children’s witness outdoor reality then they can understand the
different
image of life where one
has to
face plethora of challenges and difficulties to accomplish something.
Additionally
, in the companionship of siblings and guardians,
teenagers
often
get
spoon feeding
where as
the circumstance is
totally
different
outside.

However
,
some
people
believe that any
child
can
show
incredible performance in their development with alone family influence,
but
on the other hand
personally
I
think
that when a
child
learn something from outside it will not
only
help
them to face cruel world
but
also
they
develpe
ability of neglecting
negatve
attitudes.
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IELTS essay A family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence outside the home plays a

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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