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More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Nowadays, more and more individuals are becoming obsessed with sugar-based drinks. This problem is more aggravated for the younger generation who literally replace water in favour of sweety drinks. In the given essay, I will highlight two main reasons for the outstanding problem and then provide ways to mitigate the ongoing concern. First and foremost, soft drinks provide people with a sense of joy and delightfulness. It is well investigated that the sugar in component positively affects the dopamine level in the body of a person. Increase in this hormone forces the person to feel “happier”. Hence, as individuals feel themselves better, they purchase more of sweety products. Another reason behind high levels of consumption of sugar-products, specifically soft-drinks, is an over-consumption behaviour of modern society. In fact, the majority of generation Y and Z advocates that soft-drinks is an essential component of any party or other special occasions. That is, the standards of any event are based on the fact that whether or not snacks and beverages were offered. This behaviour, in turn, makes people buy more of these products. The most effective way to surmount the problem of sweet-drinks addiction is to constantly notify people of an adverse impact of sugar. The beverages, such as Coke and Pepsi, contain a great amount of sugar components which causes the deterioration of brain cells as well as muscular structure. Furthermore, a sugar addiction may lead to obesity problems, which many young adults encounter nowadays. The government should start a sugar-free campaign and share the effects of sugar and beverages through online and offline channels, including social media and advertisements. In conclusion, there are several causes of people drinking sweety drinks. The problem, however, lies deeply in the mindset of individuals who, possible, do not know the negative effects of sugar. So, in order to effectively overcome this issue, the local authorities should rise awareness among the folk to the very great extent.
Nowadays, more and more individuals are becoming obsessed with sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is more aggravated for the younger generation who
literally
replace water in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sweety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
essay, I will highlight two main reasons for the outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and then provide ways to mitigate the ongoing concern.

First
and foremost, soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a sense of joy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
delightfulness
. It is well investigated that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in component
positively
affects the dopamine level in the body of a person. Increase in this hormone forces the person to feel “happier”.
Hence
, as individuals feel themselves better, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sweety
products.

Another reason behind high levels of consumption of sugar-products,
specifically
soft-drinks, is an over-consumption
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
of modern society. In fact, the majority of generation Y and Z advocates that soft-drinks is an essential component of any party or other special occasions.
That is
, the standards of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
are based
on the fact that
Consider shortening this phrase to just “whether”. It is correct though if you mean ‘regardless of whether’.
whether or not
snacks and beverages
were offered
. This
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more of these products.

The most effective way to surmount the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of sweet-drinks addiction is to
constantly
notify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of an adverse impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. The beverages, such as Coke and Pepsi, contain a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
components which causes the deterioration of brain cells
as well
as muscular structure.
Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
addiction may lead to obesity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young adults encounter nowadays. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a sugar-free campaign and share the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and beverages through online and offline channels, including social media and advertisements.

In conclusion
, there are several causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
sweety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
however
, lies
deeply
in the mindset of individuals who, possible, do not know the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in order to
effectively
overcome this issue, the local authorities should rise awareness among the folk to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great extent.
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IELTS essay More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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