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The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v.1

The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 1
It is an indisputable truth that food habits play a pivotal role in health matters. Some believe that consuming food products of local farmers are beneficial to people rather than preferring foods which are produced by factories. This viewpoint finds favour with me. Although manufactory farming products would be cost-efficient, traditional farming has many benefits associated with it. To embark on, there are two prominent reasons why factory farming is advantageous. Firstly, goods of factory farming are low-priced. With the technological sophistication and advanced science, agriculture can produce many products within a minimum duration; therefore, it provides affordability in price to the general populace. For example, according to the survey taken by the Indian Food Corporation, the Agri-food sector has increased 30% in production than previous projections taken last year, which reduced the price substantially. Besides, factories have a robust security inspection system for products which elevates the credibility of the goods among masses. However, quality can be ensured in the traditional way of farming by local farmers. It is irrefutably true that numerous chemicals like pesticides and herbicides have been incorporated into farming methodologies; as a result, people are prone to be affected by detrimental health issues. To exemplify, it is witnessed that, a few decades ago, people were physically robust because of the food quality, but, now, nutrients have been neglected by hybrid products. Moreover, evidently, goods of local farmers can be purchased immaculately, whereas goods transported from a far distance would not be pristine. Thus, these factors should be taken into account. In conclusion, while the trend of eating local food has become exponentially popular, factory farming also has its own merits.
It is an indisputable truth that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits play a pivotal role in health matters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers are beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
than preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which
are produced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
. This viewpoint finds
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
with me. Although
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
would
be cost
-efficient, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits associated with it.

To embark on, there are two prominent reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
is advantageous.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
are low-priced. With the technological sophistication and advanced science, agriculture can produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
within a minimum duration;
therefore
, it provides affordability in price to the general populace.
For example
, according to the survey taken by the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
Corporation, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Agri-food
sector has increased 30% in production than previous projections taken last year, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the price
substantially
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
have a robust security inspection system for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which elevates the credibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
among masses.

However
, quality can
be ensured
in the traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers. It is
irrefutably
true that numerous chemicals like pesticides and herbicides have
been incorporated
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
methodologies;
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are prone to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by detrimental health issues. To exemplify, it
is witnessed
that, a few decades ago,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
physically
robust
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
quality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, nutrients have
been neglected
by hybrid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Moreover
,
evidently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
immaculately
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
transported from a far distance would not be pristine.
Thus
, these factors should
be taken
into account.

In conclusion
, while the trend of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become
exponentially
popular,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
also
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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