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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle

More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle 7LAp3
Several group of humans are tackling with health issues which are brought to them by ongoing way of life which cannot be cured with ongoing medical science. Many group of people opine that a get back to ancient medicines must be inspired. I agree with this statement because advancement in technology has brought many diseases with it which cannot get treated with today's medicines. So, an ancient method must be brought in today's era. To commence with, many diseases and health issues are brought to the people by newly invented technological gadgets and ongoing lifestyle because these technological gadgets have very harmful rays in them which are harmful for humans also. To cite an epitome, a survey was conducted in 2006 by the Armforce university of America which consequented that 50% of the diseases are caused by the use of electronic gadgets like: mobile phones, laptops and computers. Secondly, these technological gadgets raise health issues which cannot be treated with nowaday's medicines. So, people must have to go back to ancient era's medicines which were made organically with the extracts of plants and their leaves. To exemplify, a survey was done in the year of 2000, by London university of France resulted that 70% of the people used ancient era's medicines had really strong bones and bodies. To recapitulate, modern medicines cannot treat and root out the modern diseases because organic medicines and methods are more convinient way to cure the diseases. So, people must have to go back to ancient period's medicines to cure diseases
Several group of humans are tackling with health issues which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brought
to them by ongoing way of life which cannot
be cured
with ongoing medical science.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
medicines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be inspired
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advancement in technology has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
with it which cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treated with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's medicines.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brought
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and health issues are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brought
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by
newly
invented technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
and ongoing lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful rays in them which are harmful for humans
also
. To cite an epitome, a survey
was conducted
in 2006 by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Armforce
university of America which
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequented
that 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are caused
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
like: mobile phones, laptops and computers.

Secondly
, these technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
raise health issues which cannot
be treated
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
's medicines.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
era's medicines which
were made
organically
with the extracts of plants and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
. To exemplify, a survey
was done
in the year of 2000, by London university of France resulted that 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
era's medicines had
really
strong bones and bodies.

To recapitulate, modern medicines cannot treat and root out the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
organic medicines and methods are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
way to cure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
period's medicines to cure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
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IELTS essay More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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