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Enrollment charts in Australia Universities

Enrollment charts in Australia Universities NyPWW
In Australian universities, there are local and overseas students. When looking at the graph that shows the international scholars, it is clear to see that the chart is increasing over the years. Especially the difference in commencing enrollment amount between 2008 and 2009 is incredible. On the other hand, regional pupil enrolments are increasing in total but do not change in commence. The highest admissions in local students are in 2002 even though it is one of the lowest amounts in overseas students. Another point that can be discussed is in the second graph that shows provincial students. It can be observed that between 2007 and 2010 there is no change in the chart. Interestingly, abroad students amounts are continuously growing. It can be said that the two student group is various than the other one. There is also a gap between the total enrollment and launching enrollment in local students. In ten years, commencing admission quantity is stable but the total amount is developing over the years. It cannot be seen in the other chart that shows overseas students. In conclusion, local and foreign students enrollments are quite unlike. It is obvious that even though the commencing student recruitments are stable, local student quantities are generally increasing. Also in overseas students initiating enrollments and overall enrollments are growing but still, the number wisely is is lower than the local ones.
In Australian universities, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. When looking at the graph that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the international scholars, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the chart is increasing over the years.
Especially
the difference in commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
between 2008 and 2009 is incredible.
On the other hand
, regional pupil
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
are increasing in total
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in commence. The highest admissions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are in 2002
even though
it is one of the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
students.

Another point that can
be discussed
is in the second graph that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
provincial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It can
be observed
that between 2007 and 2010 there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the chart.
Interestingly
, abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
are
continuously
growing. It can
be said
that the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
group is
Use "(various)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
various
than the other one.

There is
also
a gap between the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
and launching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In ten years, commencing admission quantity is stable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
is developing over the years. It cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the other chart that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
students.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollments
are quite unlike. It is obvious that
even though
the commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
recruitments are stable,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
quantities are
generally
increasing.
Also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
initiating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollments
and
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollments
are growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, the number
wisely
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones.
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IELTS essay Enrollment charts in Australia Universities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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