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Do you think that environmental problems will produce better results if it is addressed globally or it should be addressed by individual countries?

Do you think that environmental problems will produce better results if it is addressed globally or it should be addressed by individual countries? GJdow
Some environmental issues are becoming a huge threat to the world. As a result, each country is taking serious steps to prevent them. However, there is a prevailing belief that environmental problems should be dealt on a global level. In my opinion, if you want to get a long-lasted result, you have to globally cope with environmental issues. To start with, in many developing countries people have already done colossal irreparable damage to the environment without even noticing it. Consequently, these countries are trying to prevent it, but due to the dearth of equipment and poverty, they can not do it effectively. In such cases, aid from another developed countries is essential. For instance, one of the most common problems in India was the lack of access to clean water. In practice, it required a significant amount of money to prevent such a global problem. Only with the help of United States of America they were able to afford needed environment. Another point is that if you want to deal with a problem effectively, you must have the same rules all over the world. The greatest advantage of this is that you are able to see remarkable results which are being achieved in other countries. Another advantage is that you become more obedient. For example, both Italy and Spain have already established rules which are connected with prevention of pollution issue. Not surprisingly, there is a marked decline in the garbage in the cities. Taking everything into account, even though it is not fully confirmed that dealing with environmental issues globally is far better than dealing with them individually, many countries show that it is much more effective to chose a global solution.
Some
environmental
issues
are becoming a huge threat to the world.
As a result
, each
country
is taking serious steps to
prevent
them.
However
, there is a prevailing belief that
environmental
problems
should
be dealt
on a global level. In my opinion, if you want to
get
a long-lasted result, you
have to
globally cope with
environmental
issues
. To
start
with, in
many
developing
countries
people
have already done colossal irreparable damage to the environment without even noticing it.
Consequently
, these
countries
are trying to
prevent
it,
but
due to the dearth of equipment and poverty, they can not do it
effectively
. In such cases, aid from another developed
countries
is essential.
For instance
, one of the most common
problems
in India was the lack of access to clean water. In practice, it required a significant amount of money to
prevent
such a global
problem
.
Only
with the
help
of United States
of America they were able to afford needed environment. Another point is that if you want to deal with a
problem
effectively
, you
must
have the same
rules
all over the world. The greatest advantage of this is that you are able to
see
remarkable results which are
being achieved
in other
countries
. Another advantage is that you become more obedient.
For example
, both Italy and Spain have already established
rules
which
are connected
with prevention of pollution
issue
. Not
surprisingly
, there is a marked decline in the garbage in the cities. Taking everything into account,
even though
it is not
fully
confirmed that dealing with
environmental
issues
globally is far better than dealing with them
individually
,
many
countries
show
that it is much more effective
to chose
a global solution.
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IELTS essay Do you think that environmental problems will produce better results if it is addressed globally or it should be addressed by individual countries?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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